


Something Lost, Something Found

by rawrxsushii



Series: When Stars Align [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts X (Chi)
Genre: Amnesia is a bitch, Aqua centric, Aqua is just concerned, Gen, Gender Neutral Pronouns - Player, KHUX - Freeform, Kingdom Hearts Fragmentary Passage, Kingdom Hearts Unchained Key, Kingdom Hearts Union Cross, Kingdom Hearts Union X, Player has a lot of issues, Player is conflicted, Post - Kingdom Hearts 0.2, Post - Kingdom Hearts Backcover/KHUx, Pre-Kingdom Hearts III, Sometime between 0.2 and KH3 (whenever that is), aka as the Player's in-game party, all because of Ephemer and Skuld, could be a reader insert, if you squint hard enough - Freeform, no beta we die like men, partially Ventus too, roll a 20 for easter eggs, she worries too much for Player, vague mentions of Dandelions, who doesn't remember jack shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-02-03 10:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12746664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrxsushii/pseuds/rawrxsushii
Summary: Aqua wanders the Realm of Darkness, still trapped for a time unkown. She continues to fight, to persevere, to hope and find the light amidst the darkness until... She mysteriously finds herself in the company of a mysterious kid who doesn't remember who or what they are.





	1. Found

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: All Square Enix/Disney characters mentioned and used in this fictional work is/are the property of their respective mother companies. They are not mine and are only being used by my imagination to share my love for this franchise, its story, and characters to everyone in the lovely place called the internet.
> 
> This is a prequel-sequel fic to a work I will be writing and working on, on a later date about Union Cross and the new five union leaders. This is mostly in the POV of Aqua as she meets [Player], who does not remember who they are, and tries to help them. I generally wanted to give it a reader-insert vibe but it was difficult to do that when the POV is on another character. So instead, I wrote them with gender neutral pronouns and zero physical characteristics. Feel free to imagine your avatar's in [Player]'s shoes and conversing with Aqua. 
> 
> This is my first KH fanfic so reviews and feedback are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!

Time works differently in the realm of darkness.

A single step can mean weeks, maybe months, perhaps years, has passed in the realm of light. Regardless of how long it has been, Aqua remains none the wiser about it. In the darkness, time makes no sense. It's practically non-existent. In Aqua's perspective, the moment she got trapped here, and the time she bumped into Mickey while he was on a mission to close the Doors to Darkness, all happened within days of each other. She's not really sure.

She would never know ten years have already passed until Mickey told her.

Aqua wasn't really surprised with the news. She's been walking the same path for what feels like an eternity, with no real destination in mind; and hasn’t seen nor felt a single celestial body in the sky to indicate any passage of time. If anything, she was more suprised that it has _only_ been ten years. She's actually more surprised that in those ten years, she has not had the urge to eat nor drink. 

It was an odd realization… Knowing that you dont need sustenance to survive anymore. But once she acknowledged it, she began to miss it. Unfortunately for Aqua, good food and drinkable water is hard to comeby in a realm filled with nothing.

While she didn’t feel the need to eat or drink anymore, the darkness was kind enough to retain her need to sleep - the only other thing Aqua wished the darkness really took from her instead. It's not that she doesn’t enjoy a well-earned rest after exhausting her magical ability; it’s just that sleeping doesnt actually do her any good. 

The realm of darkness is never static. It’s always moving, changing - almost never the same thing twice. And that amount of movement needs energy. It takes energy from the worlds it has swallowed previously, and beings, in Aqua’s case, trapped in it. She didn’t use to be affected by the darkness like this, but she supposed being trapped in it for too long has begun to show its drawbacks.

Fortunately for her, the darkness hasn’t been _completely_ merciless. She can still perform amazing feats of magic, and fight with ease, but her stamina has been relatively lower. It has become a bit of a nuisance as of late, and it urged Aqua to choose her battles more often than not. She never really liked to run if she knows she can win it, but the darkness forced her hand. She may have backed down against this fight, but Aqua has yet to lose the war. She can’t let the darkness take her. Not when she has a promise to fulfill.

As she became more attentive towards her surroundings, Aqua also began to notice something deeper in the darkness. No. Not just notice, feel. It was like she developed some kind of awareness for it; a sixth sense that alerts her of the darkness' subtle shifts in movement. She can feel when the darkness is calm, like a gentle breeze, and when it threathens to turn into a storm. She also began to feel whether or not a creature of the dark, a Heartless – as Mickey called them – would appear.

It was something very unconscious at first, but the more Aqua tried to understand how or why she developed such a skill, the more she learned to control it. Aqua would use it to scout an area and determine if it was clear to layback or not. And so far, using it hasn't backfired on her yet. It's actually been fairly useful in reserving her own diminishing endurance for difficult fights.

Still, the keyblade master remained conflicted with the use of this new ability. Sure it's useful... But Aqua can't help but wonder whether this new ability the darkness granted her is a lure to ultimately make her fall prey to the dark in the end. 

Aqua shook her head. She refused to continue this line of thought. The moment she doubts herself, makes that connection and begins to believe it, is the moment she lets the darkness win.

Aqua turned to labelling the darkness’ moods to better orient herself instead. 

During this experimental search of understanding, Aqua managed to label three main moods of the realm - calm, chaotic, and nothingness. Aqua particularly prefers the calmer side of the darkness. It was still ominous and generally displeasing to feel, but this mood allows Aqua to have some sense of peace and quiet. The calm allows her to explore the world's present and not have to worry too much. Unfortunately, this happens very seldom.

For most of the time, the darkness is angry, hungry, chaotic. Aqua figured that the during this time, the darkness is telling her that it wanted _more_. It wanted more worlds, and Aqua can feel it trying to bend her wishes as well. But as a keyblade wielder, a chosen warrior of light, Aqua is able to ignore those thoughts and remain steadfast. This mood she found to be the most inconvenient. But she can still handle angry.

On the rarest of occassions, the realm is just filled with nothing. Aqua despises this one the most. When there’s nothing, it’s only the black void of darkness surrounding her, suffocating her, and letting her free fall for all eternity. The darkness steals all of her senses and fills them with dread. All she can do is feel the darkness. Without a world around to keep stable, the darkness’ focus is on her, and it can be unbearable. She can't even remember how many times the thought of letting herself go has crossed her mind.

But even in the darkest times, Aqua persists. While her mind wants to lose, her heart, filled with the lights of her friends, are still fighting to protecting her. After all, her purpose has yet to be fulfilled.

Aqua initially thought that understanding the darkness’ moods would have no drawback but it appears she was mistaken. Every time she took a step closer to putting the feelings, the moods, into words, the darkness found a way to whisper into her mind. Whispers that she’s tried to ignore but sometimes can’t help but entertain.

Knowledge has always been a double edged sword. Master Eraqus and Master Xehanort were living examples of that. Master Eraqus gathered knowledge to become a wise but unbending believer of the way of light. He knew not to dwell on the power of darkness and was afraid of ever coming close to understanding it. Master Xehanort, on the other hand, sought out knowledge from the darkness. She's not really sure as to why, but when he got a taste of it he just kept wanting more.

Aqua shuddered to herself. Was she perhaps heading down the same path?

She's reaching out to the darkness like Master Xehanort did. It may not be for the same reasons, but she was still trying to understand the enemy. And in her decade long isolation, Aqua has become accustomed to thinking back and processing the actions she has done that led her here. She doesn’t regret having done what she did. She knows her actions were the right thing to do but the darkness whispers otherwise - doubt, pain, sorrow, and _anger_.

Sometimes the influence comes progressively slow, sometimes it just happens as if triggered by a single memory. Regardless of which, the moment she makes the sligthest agreement and begins to dwell on them, the stronger the feelings become. The sudden bursts of unfiltered emotion that stems from her own heart, spilling out so uncharacteristically from her, scared her. And when she gets scared, the Heartless come.

It was like they were attracted to negative energy just as much as they were attracted to the Keyblade’s light.

This revelation gave Aqua all the more reason to avoid dwelling on her troubled past and thoughts. She insisted on only thinking about the good things, but even then, the darkness still found a way to slither into her thoughts.

Once, out of the blue, in her long silence and exhaustion, she found herself questioning the very teachings of Master Eraqus. She wondered if the world is really as simple as black and white, or good and evil, like she was taught. Her argument grew even stronger when her thoughts lingered to Terra. She’s known Terra ever since they were children, when they were both beginning to train under Master Eraqus as keyblade masters. She knows him to have a kind and good heart, stubborn and firm headed, but good, nonetheless.

She never imagined him to have harbored darkness at all. She didn’t think he’d let himself fall so easily. And so, Aqua wondered… whether the darkness in his heart was evil to begin with or was it merely corrupted by Master Xehanort.

Aqua sighed.

If she hadn’t cast Terra aside when she discovered the growing darkness in him, could she have saved him then? Was she simply too slow to help Terra, or was she too ignorant of what the darkness in him truly is?

Aqua fished out a blue glass, star shaped charm encased in metal from her side and inspected it with somber eyes. Watching the darkness' dim light shine down on the reflective surface reminded her of the distant voices of her beloved friends. They assured her of her struggles and reminded her of her purpose. Aqua smiled.

She isn’t falling to the darkness, she’s surviving in it.

She would be of no use to anyone, to Terra, nor to Ventus, if she allowed herself to succumb to the pressure of the dark. If she can understand the darkness without using it, then maybe… just maybe, she can find a way to save both of them.

Aqua pressed the wayfinder to her chest and thinks of her friends. She thinks about those boys – Sora and Riku – and how they’ve grown to be strong warriors protecting the light in their steed. She thinks about Queen Minnie's compassion, Mickey’s bravery and optimism, Zack’s boldness, and most of all, her own heartfelt wish. All of these keep her from falling completely to the darkness. It serves as a warm cloak that protects her cold embrace of nothingness. These wishes keep her safe from the invasive whispers of the dark, and it will remain that way until her dying breath.

“As long as you're with me - Terra, Ven,” she mumbled. “I’ll always find my way back.”

A sudden shift in the darkness pulled Aqua away from her thought and she looked. A streak of white lightning dashed across the purple-red skyline, and warned her of what was to come next. 

“Time to go.” Aqua stood and hefted herself towards the rooftops. Buildings crumbled around her as the darkness willed for the world to return to nothing. While being trapped here for a log time, Aqua has never gotten used to racing 'time' whenever a world disappears before her very eyes. Most often than not a new world will replace it, but she never really figured out a pattern for how long, or when a world will disappear again. Aqua doesn't think she ever will. The darkness is just as indecisive as it is chaotic that way.

Aqua bounded from one building to another until she reached the very end of this world. She jumped towards a small hill and took her time to regain her breath. By the horizon, Aqua spotted a blurry silhouette of what looks like a humongous twin tower.

She's not really sure what it is, but its definitely a building she's not familiar with.

Aqua has become acquainted with a few worlds the darkness has taken from the light. Some of them, like the Castle of Dreams and the Enchanted Dominion, she recognized from past visits. But most of the time, they're worlds she's never seen before. For these forgotten, unnamed worlds, Aqua took the liberty to give them one. She thought that, in some way give, it gave them an identity – a life. It didn’t really matter to anyone, most certainly not to its lost inhabitants, but to Aqua, it lifted her spirits up a bit. If Ventus and Terra were here with her, she’s certain they’d be proud of what she’d name a few.

These unnamed worlds would appear ever so often, there was never an order, but they happen so frequently that Aqua is quick to recognize them by now. She knows the worlds far better than she understood the mood shifts of the darkness - which is a lot more comforting to know than if it was the opposite. So as she closed in on the tower and the rather blank looking world before her, Aqua is certain that this is not one she's visited before.

“Did the darkness take another world?”

Aqua jumped off the ground before a massive sink hole can swallow her whole and landed on damp, uneven ground. She slid off the surface and fell forward in a soft yelp. Quickly catching herself on one arm, Aqua took her momentum and rolled to stand on her feet. She huffed away the hair that fell on her face and frowned at the the sudden change of scenery. From barren lands, Aqua found herself sandwiched between three-story, cream colored, cabin like houses, with purple colored roofs and chimneys. Aqua liked the color this world has compared to the previous towns she's visited, but the withered and decaying shrubbery and flora decorating the windows and doors didn't help lift the mood. It pains her to know that they could've been beautiful alive. 

Aqua stood up slowly and scanned the unfamiliar terrain cautiously. Shifting between two different worlds without notice usually meant a great amount of trouble. She held out her hand at the ready, just in case she needed to summon her weapon if, and when, the Heartless decide to greet her. A couple of minutes pass and Aqua lowered her guard. It's odd that the Heartless haven't attacked yet. Usually they're very restless after the darkness shifts into another world. The amount of raw darkness fleeting about just makes them more active and Aqua has to pick up the pieces to calm them down. But right now, everything was quiet. 

Aqua closed her eyes and attempted to get a feel of the dark energy around her. If something unusual like this happens, the dark always tends to tell her this way, but for some reason... it didn't this time. The darkness wasn't responding. In fact, this darkness felt very different from normal. Aqua isnt quite sure how to define it.

It felt similar to the silence, but it was more than just that. It was muted in a way she hasn’t felt before, and... it's neither of the three moods she's defined previously. Aqua isn't quite sure what this new mood is, but she's certain she'll find out soon. Shaking off the yet to be labeled mood, Aqua lowered her guard but kept her eyes peeled for danger. 

Looking around the town, Aqua noted how similar the houses looked to one another. Just about every house for the next few miles has the same purple colored roof. They were all made with the same wood and brick material; and arranged so closely together that there was little space to squeeze through. Aqua was forced to take the long way around and follow the dull, yellow brick road before her to reach the other street. Its not all bad considering how wide the streets are, so Aqua reminded herself to be patient about it.

As she ventured on, Aqua noted a lot of wooden boxes scattered about. They were stacked on top of each other, forming some make shift flight of stairs towards the roof, while others were smashed to pieces. Someone must've been really angry before this world succumbed to darkness. 

The stack of boxes began to decrease in number and was soon replaced with old, tattered papers. Out of curiosity, Aqua picked up a fliers and read over it. " **Mission Quest!"** was printed in dark ink. She can't quite read the language used on the flier, but the photograph beside it did give her some context to work with. It was a picture of a beach front, with a lighthouse to the upper most left corner, and blurred out figures in the center. Aqua isn’t sure if they were people or something else, but they looked like trouble. Underneath the photo was a note that detailed some sort of currency as well. Aqua may not understand the writing, but she hummed admirably at the 5 digit reward.

“Just what is this place?” 

Aqua picked up another flier, and was surprised, when this and the succeeding fliers were becoming less and less decipherable. From what once was an unfamiliar language now devolved into silly black scribbles on paper until there was nothing left. The photograps slowly lost their color as well, until it was just a huge patch of black.The last flier Aqua picked up literally had nothing on it anymore. It was like the darkness was actively trying to throw her off and keep her in the dark about this new world. Why that is so, eludes her, but if the darkness is adamant about keeping secrets, then it's her duty to figure out why. 

After all, Aqua has been nothing but curious as of recent. Why stop now? It's a lot better to be interested in a new world than the darkness. Even more so when Aqua found herself staring at the longest flight of stairs she’s ever seen. 

Aqua debated whether or not she should climb it or take the path before her that led to more houses. She tried to probe the darkness for anything, a feeling of malice or dread, but she ended up with nothing. Aqua scoffed to herself. To think she’ll ever see the day the darkness remained quiet.

“I could use a little exercise,” she joked to herself and embarked on some well-needed leg work. Aqua proceeded to climb, her eyes taking in the sights as she passed by them. There were a couple of divering paths from the stairwell, some led to more houses while others led to more secluded areas. 

Aqua was interested in checking those places out later, but for now she’ll stick to seeing whats on the other end of the stairs. She can’t really get lost in the realm of darkness, but with the way this world was created, she most definitely will feel that way.

Halfway to her ascent, Aqua heard a soft crunch somewhere to her left and instinctively summoned Master’s Defender to her side. She held her blade at the ready and spotted a door close slightly. Aqua frowned at the unusual movement and took small catious steps towards the door. She placed a hans on the door and probe the darkness for a warning. Unfortunately, the darkness remained stubborn and silent. 

Ignoring the new, odd behavior the darkness is presenting, Aqua pushed the door back in the count of three. She stepped inside and was welcomed by a small room lit only by candles scattered around. 

Aqua lowered her guard and dismissed her weapon. There isn't a lot of furniture in the room, just a small table at foot of the stairwell. On top of it lay a used up green colored book. Aqua picked up the book and scanned through its handwritten pages. It used the same language as the fliers from earlier, so Aqua assumed whoever owned it was a local. 

As she flipped through the writting, the more indecipherable they became. Halfway through the diary, Aqua found a set of photos of children exploring various places in and outside of town. The first photo is a group of four kids lifting a doll that has a red balloon on top of their head, celebrating some sort of victory in a dimly tavern. The next photo had the same group of kids, plus a new child whose face was obscured by the sheer enthusiam of the others trying to fit themselves on the small frame.  

The remaining photos were beginning to lose their identity just like the fliers, so Aqua scanned through them as fast as she could. In all of the photo's, Aqua noted that the same child hidden in the second photograph remained obscured from full view. She supposed they were just shy, or preffered to be the one behind the camera, but to be deliberately hidden whenever they are in the shot felt intentional.

Aqua finished looking through the photos just before they turned completely black and spotted a folded piece of paper sticking out from the last page. She pulled it out from the page and unfolded another photo of a silver haired boy with an arm slung over the same shy-child from the previous photos. They had their face hidden from view again; this time by a grey stuffed cat, and a girl with long black hair trapping the two boys in an embrace.

They looked happy. 

It reminded Aqua of how she was with Terra and Ven before everything went to chaos. She thought that maybe she shouldve taken pictures of their time together as well. Her heart ached just thinking about them, but even more so when she realized that these children have all lost their lives in the darkness. 

Aqua wiped a stray tear in her eyes and returned the photos just as she found them before turning away to leave. It's only right that she respect the memory of this worlds former inhabitants by keeping the place as neat as she found it. She quietly excused herself from the house and resumed her climb, completely unaware of yellow orbed eyes that watched her every move. 

Aqua let out a relieved sigh as she took one final step unto even ground. She scanned the new terrain and noted the majestic fountain in the middle of the plaza. Potted white colored flowers surrounded the fountains base as a simple decoration. She noticed that the flower installation was missing a pot or two, and she supposed the locals never got to finish what they were doing with it because of the darkness. 

Aqua felt saddened by the reminder and focused her attention elsewhere. 

Water flowed down from the fountain's tip as though moving in slow motion. Aqua picked up a small rock and flung it towards the water stream. It left a gaping hole on the stream before it resumed its natural form - slowly. Definitely slowed down. Aqua walked over to inspect the fountain closer and was surprised to se a very clear image of herself reflected on the water’s surface. For the first time since she last saw her own face, Aqua has now seen how unkind the darkness has been to her.

Her face has lost its natural glow, looking a lot paler than she remembered, and despite not looking any older than she was, her eyes already reflected the olden wisdom it has gained through time spent in this realm. The insufficient, or lack thereof of, sleep resulted in black circles forming under her eyes. And her hair.. Aqua ran a hand through her blue locks and sighed. While she still kept in the way that she liked, she can see just how much soot and dirt it managed to accumulate.

To say that she looked terrible is an understatement. She looked horrible! Aqua laughed at herself, the first mirthful laugh she’s had in a long time and relaxed in her space. Oh, the things she’ll sacrifice just to get a steaming hot shower.

Aqua cupped her hands and cautiously dipped them into the water. She was expecting some kind of force to drag her down and drown her, like that time in the mirror of Enchanted Dominion, but nothing did. Everything remained in a still, silent, mood around her. Aqua did not like it. Not by one bit. But she wasn't going to let it spoil her fun. 

Deeming the fountain safe to use, Aqua splashed her face with refreshing, cool water. She let out a deep sigh as she felt layers upon layers of dirt come off her face. She continued to make good use of the fountain by cleaning herself up and drinking from it. She didn’t have to hydrate herself anymore but feeling cold liquid tracing the back of her throat is amazing. 

A drop of water landed unto the pool at the base of the fountain and caused Aqua's reflection to subside through slow moving ripples. From the corner of her eye, just further ahead of the fountain, Aqua blinked up at a figure watching her.

Her mouth dropped in aghast as she met eyes with a young, unmoving child holding a pot of snowy white flower atop a whorl of three leaves in their hand. Their eyes blown wide open as though surprised to see Aqua standing by the fountain as well. 

Aqua stood up almost too abruptly as her heart leapt in joy to see another human trapped in here with her. But quickly felt heartache as the realization dawned on her. This child, probably no older by Ventus, somehow survived the darkness that swallowed their world and woke up alone and with nothing. She can’t even begin to imagine the horror the child must’ve faced upon realizing that. Not to mention… the Heartless.

“Hello,” she smiled sincerely. “My name is Aqua and I – !” Aqua gasped as she the unusually silent darkness sprung back to life around them and filled it with fear.

No… it wasn’t trying to _spread_ fear; Aqua knows what that feels like. It was fear like -  _afraid._ The darkness was afraid.

Aqua frowned to herself, baffled at this new mood. She had hoped to probe it again but the sound of ceramic breaking apart on tiled floor broke Aqua out from her trance.

The child was retreating. 

“Wait!”

Aqua tried to run after them but was suddenly blocked by countless shadow’s that squirmed and materialzed themselves around her. She summoned Master’s Defender to her hand and brandished it with confidence.

“Get out of my way,” she warned the mindless creatures. The Heartless cried out in response and Aqua immediately retaliated.

* * *

Aqua bolted herself from a stack of boxes and swiped her keyblade at a Flame Core to push it towards another Heartless to her left. Both Heartless vanished upon contact and Aqua dodged rolled on the ground as a Fat Body bounded after her. Aqua fired ice shards towards the Heartless, hoping to freeze or faze it, but it only pushed the enemy a few steps back.

She tightened her grip on Master’s Defender and ran towards the wall. With one foot she kicked off the wall, flipped over behind the Fat Body, and hacked her blade directly to the Heartless’ back. It died in a puff of purple smoke and a flurry of yellow and blue shards which her keyblade absorbed in a second. 

The keyblade master dismissed her weapon and fell to her knees to catch a breath. She hasn’t encountered this many Heartless in quick succession of a wave before. She knew the Heartless appeared in droves, but never in a way that almost every ten feet summoned about five more to apprehend her. While Aqua had no problem defending herself and fighting them off, the constant barrage of enemies demanded too much energy faster than she can replenish them.

And to make matters worse, she hasn’t seen a hide nor hair of the child yet.

Aqua pushed herself off the ground and began to take small steps towards… wherever the path before her was going now. While on her run from the Heartless, she’s come to realize that this world, which she now calls as “Purple town” is practically a labyrinth just waiting for someone to get lost in.

After defeating the Heartless by the fountain earlier, Aqua followed the child in the same direction she saw them disappear to. She was determined to keep going in that direction, but the Heartless forced her to take turns she didn’t want to, and effectively messed with her sense of direction. She jumped on rooftops, fell through alleys she doesn’t recall anymore, and even got boxed in, in a dead end.

This world is a mess...

Aqua looked around and noted the multicolored banners strung overhead her as she studied the new area the Heartless had led her to. Walking over to one of the many stalls neatly arranged around the plaza, Aqua was surprised to see a wide array of fruits in vegetables inside wooden crates. None of which look too edible to eat, unfortunately.

Moving on, Aqua followed the cream colored pathway before her and walked under a small tunnel that led to an avenue that diverged into two paths. Going straight would lead her to a viewing deck on the foot of a lighthouse, while taking the stairs on her left would lead her to a park that had these adorably well-kept shrubs that look like stars.

She decided to take the scenic route and went down the flight of stairs towards the park. As Aqua took in the sights, she thought about that child and where they might have been hiding. If this was indeed their home-world, then Aqua will have no luck just searching for them in the open. The world is littered with Heartless, and if the child was smart enough to figure out that they were dangerous, they’d stay indoors. Since she hasn’t seen the child anywhere, it’s safe to assume that they already knew that.

Aqua let out a sigh of relief. That would be for the best. But she was still determined to locate them and offer them, her protection. This child is just as lost and trapped like her in this realm, regardless of how long or short that was for the child, Aqua still saw it as her responsibility as a Keyblade Master to protect everything and all beings of light.

_But what if they aren’t?_

The possibility that the child was yet another phantom the darkness has created to trick her, never even came to mind. “The darkness can't do everything…" she reasoned to herself. "To create a child out of nothing? It's impossible.”

_Or is it?_

Aqua shook her head. She refused to see the child as such. She knows the darkness can create illusions –phantoms of herself and people she’s cares about, but never someone she’s never met before, much less a child. This child is real, just like she is, and she needs to find them before the darkness decides to change worlds again.

After reaching the end of the park, Aqua turns on her heels to hopefully find her way back to the fountain plaza. It was a huge guess, but she’s willing to bet the child would return to the fountain plaza soon enough. Those flower pots surrounding the fountain must be their work. They were holding unto the same pot of flowers earlier.

Aqua pushed open a large wooden door at the end of the market and was surprised to find herself back at the fountain plaza. Much to her relief, the child was there as well, tending to the flowers around the fountain as though they never left to run from her in the first place.

They turned their head towards the door and stood up in alarm. Before they can run away again, Aqua called out to them. “Please, wait! I just want to talk."

Aqua felt the darkness around them grow in alarm as well, but paid mind to it. When the child continued to say nothing, she took it as a sign to proceed. “My name is Aqua.”

“You already said that.”

Aqua blinked, taken a back by the child's bluntness. “I did, yes. It’s just common courtesy to introduce oneself to a new frien–”

“I’m not your friend,” the child spat venomously.

Aqua raised her hands defensively to submit to the child’s anger and slowly said, “Alright then. We’re not friends – for now,” she added dubiously, earning her a glare from the child. She doesn’t remember Ventus being this hard on her when they first met.

“What do you want?” the child hissed impatiently through closed teeth. 

“To protect with you," Aqua breathed. “I know you don’t trust me right now, but you’re not safe on your own. There are creatures here that can hurt you, these creatures, the–”

“Heartless?” the child finished.

Aqua nodded, unsure how the child knows of the proper name Mickey used to call the creatures of darkness. Even she didn’t know what they were called until Mickey told her. "You... know about them?"

“They've been scampering off _my_ world for a while now. Hard to miss them," they said as though it was common knowledge. "I appreciate the concern, lady, but I don't need your's or anyone's help. I've survived in this place long enough just by hiding and I intend to keep that way. Leave me alone."

Having said their peace, the child turned on their heels and walked away from Aqua; leaving the keyblade wielder to wonder what the child has gone through while trapped alone in this darkness.


	2. Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aqua tries to get her new friend to talk and along the way pieces out a terrible relationship they have with the darkness.
> 
> Oh, did I mention the world is falling apart again.

Aqua quietly trailed after the child, never straying too close nor far behind. The child had so rudely asked her to stay away, and Aqua wanted to respect that, but she can't just let them have their way as well. The born and bred protector of light and warrior in Aqua’s heart can’t bring herself to be careless enough to do that. Hiding can only work for so long. Aqua will not be able to forgive herself if she let the child be arrogant enough to lower their guard down against the Heartless. They might hurt themselves, or worse – Aqua didn’t want to think about it. It’s her duty to protect people, trapped in darkness or not.

Additionally, Aqua can’t live with herself if she had the means to do something, and didn’t. A death will be on her conscience forever.

The child wanted to be left alone, that much is clear. They walked around towm without a clear destination in sight and whenever Aqua gives even the slightest hint that she was beginning to feel lost herself, the child would attempt to lose her. And they managed to, once. 

The child took a turn into one of the dead end corners of town, and Aqua was a moment too late to catch a glimpse of the childs hair disappearing down the rooftops. It didnt take long for her to find the child again. Somehow they really liked visiting the fountain. She appealed to them a second time after that and was promptly ignored. After the childs disappearing act, Aqua decided to be more vigilant about the kids capabilities.

Not long after that, the child tried to lose her again in street corner. This time around, Aqua was ready and caught the child scaling the walls without difficult. The rolled to their sides and jumped down unto the neighboring street without dropping a sweat. 

Aqua vaulted after them, double jumping over the houses herself and landing just a few meters away from where the child dusted themselves off. She caught them staring oddly at her, and Aqua smiled. 

"Where did you learn to scale walls like that?"

The child regarded her for a moment but didn't answer. They merely huffed and resumed walking aimlessly around town. And just like any sane minded individual would do, Aqua followed them.

Aqua realized that the child really isn't the type to talk much. Whether this a conscious decision or not, Aqua isn't certain of it just yet. All she knows for certain that aside from just being quiet, the child is also very reclusive, untrusting, and defensive. Any small talk that Aqua has tried to start was immediately met with shut down with silence by the their reluctance to answer.

Of course it was frustrating to repeatedly keep trying and not have any rewards to show for it, but Aqua has survuved 10 years against the darkness, surely she can survive a stubborn child. And speaking of the darkness, its funny how the child's behavior reminded her of how the darkness around them is behaving right now. A thought formed in her head, but Aqua immediately dismissed it as impossible and returned to watching after the child.

Despite not revealing much about themselves through small talk, Aqua learned that the child was smart and resourceful in their own way through their small actions. It turns out they _do_ know how to evade the Heartless in far more effective ways than Aqua can think of. The child had somehow mapped out the locations the creatures would most likely appear and prepared sound makers to distract them with while they escaped in the opposite direction. The stacked boxes Aqua noted earlier also served a purpose as a the child's quick escape and travel routes. Through out her stay with the child, Aqua has never needed to fight a Heartless.

She laughed pitifully at herself as the child kneeled down in front of her, waiting as a flock of Fluttering's flew by to reach a commotion on their left. The child looked over their shoulder, baffled at the sound Aqua just made but said nothing to make fun of her. 

She was the one who offered the child protection and yet, here she is, being protected instead by said child. 

As they escaped towards the avenue and headed towards the boardwalk, Aqua happened to look up into the sky and noticed a massive clock tower, found in between two interconnected buildings, looming over the entire town. Its purple colored gears, some big, some small, moved in properly coordinated fashion with each other as the pendulum hanging beneath it slowly swayed from side to side.

It towered so high and took so much of the airspace that Aqua began to wonder how ever could she have missed it. “That tower,” she began softly. “Has it always been there?”

The child looked over to the building in question and stared. Aqua saw their eyebrows crease and for the first time since they travelled together, the child finally responded. “Sometimes," they said softly. Aqua fought the urge to jump around in triumpth at the progress her stubborness has achieved, but she remained quiet. She didn't want to scare the child off now. "Sometimes it’s there, sometimes it’s not. I don't know why, and I don't care. The darkness can do whatever it wants.”

Aqua is disheartened by the child's indifference towards the darkness, nor their surroundings for that matter, but decided to talk about it another time. She instead focused on keeping this conversation going for as long as she can. 

“It sure is beautiful isn't it?”

The child walked over to the balcony and studied the clock tower. They frowned, eyes looking out and getting lost in the distance, until they mumbled, “I guess. It's a lot better during the sunrise though.”

The child tears their focus off the tower and proceeded to take the steps down to the park by the lighthouse.

Aqua watched the child disappear through the corner, and takes one last look over the clock tower. She closed her eyes to imagine the sun caressing her skin again and rummages through her pockets to pull out her way finder. The cold metal bordering the sides of the small charm glint a little in the low light of the thundering skies, and Aqua makes another heartfelt wish to it before following after them.

“Hey,” she called after the child. She figured the quick response earlier might have been a lucky question, but it didn't hurt to try again either. “What's your name?”

For a few moments, it didn't seem like the child would answer her as they walked over railings at the edge of the park. They jumped over the pier and walked unto the small patch of land at the side. And as Aqua watched them feel around for stones under the sand, they nonchalantly replied, "I don't have one."

Aqua blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"

The child bit their lip, temporarily holding back on sharing too much, and sighed. They flicked stone towards the harbor and nonchalantly replied, "Just that. I don't have a name."

“Oh come on,” Aqua jeered, disbelievingly. “Everyone has a name. Surely you have one of your own.”

The child scoffed as though Aqua’s words were funny and turned their back on her. They flicked another rock across the nothingness and watched it skip four times before disappearing from sight.

Aqua jumped down to settle right beside them and continued, “I’m serious. You already know mine. It's only right that I know yours too.”

The child grumbled in some foreign language that Aqua can't understand, before hearing them growl in a low tone, “I can't."

Aqua didn't say anything, and instead leaned closer to the child; waiting for them to clarify that thought on their own. Their eyes met for a second and the child caved. "I don't know because...” they started softly, "because I can't remember it.”

"You – you don’t remember?”

"I don't," they replied. "It's not that a big deal.”

“Do you -” Aqua started slowly, unsure whether or not the child will respond to her next question or not. It has only been a few cycles since she met them and she initially thought their choice to be distant and reclusive was a form of coping mechanism. The thought that child might be suffering something else didn't even cross her mind until now. “Do you remember anything else?”

"No," they said numbly. 

Aqua gasped and covered her mouth in shock. The child has amnesia. All of a sudden, the child’s behavior made sense. Their reluctance to answer wasn't because they didn't trust her, but because they had nothing to answer with. Waking up knowing nothing of who you were - are - is so much worse than waking up to realize that your world has been swallowed by the darkness. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m _so_ sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Don't be," the child said bluntly. "Having no memory of who I was isn't so bad. I don’t get to feel sad about whatever happened here - or anything at all..." they added softly. 

“But don’t you live here?” Aqua pressed. “Don't you remember your friends? Family? Don’t you... miss them?"

The child stood in alarm at the string of unwanted questions; their eyes glazing over as they stared beyond the horizon with thoughts wandering afar. Aqua watched as a multitude of emotions passed through the child's eyes and stayed silent, waiting for them to talk first. She's the one asking questions, bringing up scars that they probably do not remember. The least she can do is give the child time to think on it, and remember, if they can. 

Coincidentally, the darkness around them began to grow heavy. Aqua brushed against it and felt pain, anguish, and loss; feelings she hasn't quite felt from the darkness before. Then all of a sudden, the darkness spurred to suffocate her. Aqua gasped as she felt some sort of force envelope her and turn her insides cold. The darkness was beyond angry, it was  _furious_.

Aqua absentmindedly glanced over to the child and immediately noted the deep frown, the rage, etched on their face. A single question popped up in Aqua’s mind but before she can speak up, the child turned away and refused to say anything more. 

Aqua promptly followed after the child as they climbed over the rails and began walking back to the plaza. There was something dreadful about the silence between them right now when compared to the previous ones and Aqua felt responsible for it. She probably shouldn't have pressed her luck that much and hit a sore topic a little too early. Aqua stepped beside them and gently placed a comforting hand on their shoulder to apologize, but was quickly met with a dangerous glare from the child. 

She froze in her spot as the temperature around them dropped. The cold feeling from earlier was suddenly around them, fluttering and awake. Aqua frowned, confused at this unexplained motions of the darkness but turned to ignore it. She pulled the child in a tight squeeze and said, "I’m sorry." 

The child jumped at the sudden act of affection but made no effort to deny or refuse the sentiment. They just stayed there, enveloped in Aqua's embrace, never saying a word. 

"I’m sorry," Aqua repeated. "I’m sorry you don’t remember anything. I'm sorry you had to wake up in a world like this, all alone and confused. I'm sorry if I brought up something so soon when you're not ready. I know you're scared, even if you're not telling me or showing me. I know you're afraid of your own past, but I'm here now, I'm with you. I'll keep you safe, and I promise I'll never leave or hurt you. We’ll figure this out. We'll find out who you are, we'll figure out who your friends are; and if we cant, then I'll help you build a new life. I'll help you make new friends, new memories. We'll take it one step at a time. And once we get out of here, _w_ _e’ll go together_.”

Almost instantly, the child froze in her arms, then they began to tremble beneath her, and Aqua heard what sounded like soft sniffles coming from the child. She knelt down to their level and pushed away locks of hair covering their eyes out of the way. Aqua saw tears falling down from the child's unfocused gaze, clouded over as though off in a faraway memory, and frowned in shame. She made the child cry, whether it was because of the apology or the sentiment, she doesn't know, but it was still her fault. 

Aqua raised her sleeves to their face and carefully wiped the tears away. "Hey," she said softly.

The gesture seemed to snap the child out of their little trance and briefly met eyes with Aqua. And the next thing the keyblade master knows, she's being thrown off the ground by an invisible force. Aqua picked herself up, shaking off the thoughts that nagged at the back of her head as to the mysterious force and looked at the child. She trembled lightly under their fiery glare, which only seemed to make the already cold air around them, grow even colder. “ **Who said you could touch me**?!”

“I didn’t – You were crying and I thought –” 

“You’re _not_ my friend! You can’t just hug me like – You can’t just think that this is okay! And I wasn’t crying. I wasn’t –” the child suddenly paused upon feeling the wetness of their cheeks. They lowered their hand and stared baffled at it. Their breath hitched, and fear quickly replaced the ferocity in their eyes. And before Aqua knows it, the child is shaking. 

“I don’t – I didn’t – _Ngh!”_ the child’s hands immediately fly to their head, clutching it in pain as they backpedaled towards the wall.

Forgetting the cold that screamed at her to stay down, Aqua quickly stood up and reached her hands out to catch the child and support their fall but was held back by the same invisible force. “No! _You_ …" the child hissed almost uncharacteristically, as they struggled to keep an arm in between them and Aqua. "Stay away from me…” 

Aqua may have only began to understand the child's personality and behavior, but something about watching the normally distant and headstrong child unravel and cower before her, made her feel as though she's suddenly watching the struggle of an entirely different person. She doesn't know how to handle this... she doesn't know how to approach this. She doesn't know how to help them.

All of a sudden, Aqua felt a stronger, more powerful force of darkness surround them. It was _the_ darkness. The real darkness of the realm has come to assimilate itself with the silent, soothing darkness that she's come to familiarize herself with as of late and reclaim its territory. Aqua didn't need to guess what was to come next, with  _the_ darkness around, the Heartless are bound to follow soon.

Aqua kneeled before the child, careful to keep enough distance between them, and softly pleaded, “Look, we need to go. We can’t stay here or else I can’t protect you.”

“I don’t… _need_ your protection…” the child hissed through the pain, eyes shooting up to glare at her for one last time. Aqua can't bear to stomach the look of loathing in their eyes, when it should have hope and wonder. Ignoring the child's plea's, Aqua cautiously tried to reach for the child's shoulder and get them to listen to her again.

The child backed away from her touch and loudly screamed, “Just leave me – _alone!”_

A massive wave of emotions phased through Aqua that sent her thoughts all over the place. She was angry. **Infuriated.**  She wanted justice for what has been done to her, what _they_ have done to them. She wanted  **revenge**. She wanted to hurt those that hurt her, hurt her friends, and stole everything from her. She wanted to make them suffer, make them pay for making her lose everything, for making her lose her belief in everything. She wanted to  **kill**. She wanted to steal everything that was ever stolen from her back, even if she has to destroy the world - or world's - for it. She'll do anything - anything to get them back.  ** _Get them all back._**

Aqua inhaled deeply as the darkness' hold on her emotions loosened and she was allowed to think for her own again. There was so much hidden anguish and pain in that darkness that Aqua is certain it couldn't have been from the realm. Reluctantly probing against the dark again, Aqua tried to look for that raging darkness but could only brush against a lighter mood. A familiar darkness that was grieving, a darkness that was lonely, a darkness that was lost and scared. A darkness that was crying out for help, almost like a chi –

Flashes of dark purple light, pulled Aqua out of her thoughts and into defensive mode. She summoned her keyblade at the helm and raised a defensive arm in front of the still quivering child. Even though the child has become uncooperative, she is not going to let them get hurt on her watch.

Multiple elemental Heartless attacked them from afar with their magic, and Aqua was quick to form a protective Barrier around her and the child. She cast the barrier again as additional support, and rightfully done so, as an earth core completely destroyed the previous one with its spiky backside. It tackled the secondary barrier, and Aqua heard her magic crack under pressure. They were running out of time. 

Aqua quickly placed her hands on the child and tried to shake them awake from their terrified trance; or whatever this was. “Kid, please,” she pleaded. “We need to go. I’m sorry I offended you by saying something. I promise it will never happen again. You and I need to go. So please, snap out of it,  _now_.”

The child stopped convulsing all too suddenly. They began to relax as their breathing slowed from shallow, rapid cycles to deep, controllable exchanges. They stopped holding unto their head like it was splitting apart, and finally looked up at Aqua with wide, confused, clear colored eyes. “What – what happe-? Oh no... Did I do something…? Oh, hearts, did I -?” the child gasped. “The Heartless…”

“Yes," Aqua nodded. "It would seem our luck has run out."

“I – I called them…” they cried. “It’s my fault. I did this… I did it again... I’m sorry… I'm sorry I'm sorry. I didn’t…” the child began to mouth off again and looked like they were about to go into another attack.

Aqua couldn’t afford to lose them again and firmly held the child by their arms, "Listen to me. This isn’t your fault. The darkness fed on your pain and it sent the Heartless after us. Feeling fear and anger, they’re not bad. They are emotions that make us human. I have them, and you have them.” She looked at the child with eyes brimming with determination and warmth. “This isn't your fault, remember that. Now. We’ll have to fight through this if we want to live. And for it to work, you’ll have to follow what I say, do you understand?”

The child’s mouth quivered in uncertainty, but nodded nonetheless. “What do I do?”

“When I drop this barrier, I'll send them as far as I can while you run to safety.” Aqua instructed. “Find a place to hide and stay there. Once I clear them, I’ll come find you.”

“H-How?”

Aqua smiled and placed an assuring hand atop their head. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.” She raised her keyblade at the ready, gathered magic at blade of her weapon and asked, “Ready?”

The child stared at the Aqua’s keyblade for a moment, looking mesmerized and entranced by its presence before shaking their head. They kneeled on one leg and prepared to run at Aqua's signal. The child caught her eyes and nodded firmly.

The barrier falls and almost instantly, the Heartless begins their assault. Aqua raises a light green vortex of wind over her head, and sucked in nearby enemies towards the center of her blade.

The child bolts forward and clambered towards the tunnel heading to the marketplace while quickly, and carefuly, walking around the shadows that were still prying themselves off the ground.

All of a sudden, a hoard of shadows formed by the exit, completely blocking their way out. Quickly assessing their surroundings, the child jumps over a shadow trying to pry itself from the concrete floor and heads for the rails. They cling unto the metal and cursed at the sight of darkness beneath them. There was no other way out than through the door. 

"ARGH!" the child suddenly screams as a shadow swipes its claws through their arm. They fall down on their behind and quickly backs away in fear while they cradled a bleeding arm.

Aqua turns around in alarm after she heard the child cry in distress. She quickly casts a Barrier towards the child but was suddenly attacked from behind and instead cast the shadow Heartless inside the barrier. Annoyed at their increasing number, Aqua swings her blade to send the Heartless back, then flips in mid-air. Magic gathered at the tip of her weapon as she aimed to get all the Heartless in one strike. Once at its limit, Aqua released the energy in a salvo of rainbow-colored orbs, and one by one the Heartless retreated. Dropping to her feet, Aqua pirouetted and immediately redirected the remaining magic she has left from the previous spell towards the wall of Shadow’s blocking the child's path.

"Keep going!”

The child picks themselves and their wounded arm from the ground and runs towards the marketplace. They momentarily stopped to look over their shoulder, brows furrowed in worry. They begrudgingly watched as Aqua sent back another wave of Heartless away from her and jumped to vanquish more of them. The child balled their fist in frustration and closed their eyes. New found determination flashed in their eyes as they opened them, escaped to the avenue, and disappearing into safety.

Just as the child left, Aqua felt the darkness around her grow lighter. Alongside it, she saw the Heartless grow less aggressive and less motivated to stall her. Despite being baffled by their change in nature, Aqua moved to return them to darkness. at once She turned to focus on the Heartless lingering at the back of the crowd, and leapt to deal with them. But before she can engage them, they all vanished in a fluff of smoke. 

Aqua dismissed her blade in mild confusion as she was left standing, alone, in a space that, just a second ago, was brimming with vicious Heartless. 

* * *

Aqua found the child hiding underneath the staircase inside the house she found the photographs and diary in. They placed one of the flower pots they were tending to around the fountain in front of the door for her to find, and Aqua can safely say that she was impressed with their quick thinking and resilience. For a child to think of something like this, all while tending to an injured arm, Aqua has found herself respecting the child even more.

She pushed open the door and found the child boxed off like a scared kitten, waiting to be rescued by their mother, underneath the small space under the wooden staircase to their left. Aqua saw used first aid equipment laid out in front of them and assumed the child tended to their wound on their own. Whether it was enough to stop the bleeding or anything, Aqua has yet to see. Either way, she'll be more than glad to use Curaga on them.

As she stepped closer to them, the child showed no indication of being aware of her presence. Aqua smiled and sat down beside them, once again careful to not invade their personal space. "You alright?" 

The child didn't raise their head from their arms, but Aqua heard them mumble something that sounded like an apology? 

"Why are you apologizing?" she wondered out loud. "None of this was your fault." 

The child sniffed out dry tears and finally lifted up their head to look at Aqua. Their lower lip shook, as though wanting to say something, before they clammed their mouth shut again. They weren't prepared to share what they wanted to say yet. 

Aqua smiled softly and pats the child's head. "You don't have to force yourself to tell me anything. It's been a rough day for both of us. How's your arm?" 

They fiddled with their sleeve anxiously and turned to show Aqua their badly bandaged arm. They winced a little bit in pain when they moved it a little higher, and Aqua caught it. "May I?" she asked before inspecting it closer.

The child nodded silently, and watched as Aqua unfolded the wraps to reveal three swollen gashes on their upper arm. "I did my best to clean it, but the potion really stings," they explained.

Aqua only laughed lightly and placed the used bandana down. She summoned her keyblade, the child looking fixated at it again for a moment, before she cast Curaga on the child. A faint glow of green and gold covered the child as pure magical energy coursed through their body, giving them new life, and mended the cut on their arm. They caressed their arm in disbelief and looked at Aqua with grateful eyes. No words needed to be said. 

"I think we both deserve some rest. Don't you think so?" Aqua stood up and extended a hand for the child the grab. "Come on up," she chided. "Off to bed we go." 

The faintest smile graced the child's face as they accepted Aqua's hand and gestured towards the second floor. "There's two beds upstairs. They're a bit small for you, so just... I don't know... bend?"

Aqua laughed and shook her hand dismissivley at the child. “It’s no problem. Small or not, I’m sleeping in it.”

The child smiled softly and began to lead their way upstairs. Aqua lagged shortly behind and glanced over at the table where she left the book earlier; the child probably knows about it if this was the home they decided to run into, and - it was nowhere to be found. 

* * *

Aqua jolts awake when she felt the ground shake beneath her. Brittle dust fell on top of her as the hanging lights and floral vases on the ceiling swayed violently from side to side. She heard a loud crumble come from outside, and Aqua walked over to open the window. The ruined state of the world dawned on Aqua as she watched three building collapse in on each other.

Quickly, and without thought, Aqua swung the door open to the child's room and found their bed without any sign of being slept on. The child ran from her. Cursing herself and naivety that the child was finally beginning to trust her, especially after earlier, Aqua ran down the stairs and was surprised to see the diary back where she had left it. Without really stopping to question its existence, Aqua quickly grabbed the book hastily raced against the support beams threatening to break.

Aqua flung herself through the door and unceremoniously drops on the flight of stairs. She rolls down several steps before she can catch herself and stand up. Ignoring the blisters, cuts, and bruises that now graced her limbs, Aqua leapt towards the rooftops to obtain a better vantage point in looking for her lost companion, and at the same time, steer herself away from the destruction.

To her horror, half of what used to be Purple Town has already returned to darkness. No matter how many times she's seen worlds crumble back to darkness, it still terrifies her to see worlds die over and over again before her.

A loud piercing chime broke Aqua's attention from the town towards the clock tower, it now had its overhanging pendulum swinging in full motion from left to right. It would seem this realms time out in the open has ended. Tearing her attention away from the tower, Aqua vigilantly searched for the child. Saving herself wasn’t the top priority anymore.

Aqua jumped from one rooftop to another, until she found herself looking over the pitiful state of the boardwalk. She watched as the upper half of the lighthouse break and fall off into the abyss. She was running out of time and there was only one place left for her to look. Leaping off into the avenue, Aqua ran towards the marketplace but was abruptly stopped by a Heartless blocking the very tunnel she needed to use.

She summoned her keyblade at her side and took small, cautious steps towards the unmoving Heartless. Something about it felt different...

 _Help_ , the darkness whispered into Aqua's mind. _H_ –

Aqua turned around in shock at the sudden voice in her head. The darkness had never actively talked to her. She didn’t even think it was capable of doing that. "No", Aqua whispered. Someone was attempting to talk to her; but who? Aqua’s searching eyes landed on the Heartless staring at her with those eerie golden-yellow orbs for eyes. She didn’t want to believe it, but the longer Aqua looked, the more its eyes appeared to fade in and out into a different color – a shade of calming blue.

Alongside this shift in color, Aqua felt the familiar, soothing but silent foreign darkness she’s been feeling since she arrived in this realm flutter around her. It was similar to the raw feelings that phased through her earlier, only much more lighter and restless this time around. While the unusual darkness of this realm felt more like a combination of multiple emotions happening at the same time, this one felt more conflicted. As though it can't decide whether it wants to be calm or terrifying. It was the feeling of being helplessly terrified one second to wishing for violent carnage the next. Aqua felt the darkness brush inside her heart and quickly stepped back. She felt the darkness trying to influence her again and make her feel and think as though these emotions were her own.

But this wasn't _the_ darkness, no. The darkness can only implant doubts in her mind, never emotions. This was a new wave of darkness, the very same one she's been feeling since she arrived in this town; the very same one that shifted alongside the child's moods... it belonged to _them_. The child can control the darkness, whether it was consciously or not, they made the darkness their own and it was telling Aqua to find them. 

"Do you know where they are?" Aqua asked, unsure if the child's darkness - this heartless, which shared the child's control over this darkness - would even answer.

 _The fountain_ , the voice whispered again.

Aqua sighed in relief and wasted no time to leap over the Heartless blocking her. It made no attempts to move, so Aqua nodded a quick gratitude towards it. She can’t be certain of it, but a part of her wants to believe that some of the child’s friends were still looking after them, even from beyond the darkness.  

More Heartless appeared in a spark of purple-black orbs as Aqua entered the market area. She didn’t bother taking time and energy with them and pushed her way through, laying waste to their numbers until a cold shiver alerted her about something far more terrifying.

Aqua held her ground at the center of the market, when she felt a pair of eyes tracking her. She felt around the darkness and shook under the influence it had. This wasn’t the child anymore. It was the darkness itself, sending in a powerful, larger, and more sinister Heartless.

Catching a fast moving shadow to her left, Aqua fired a quick succession of flaming balls at the shadows general direction and was instead met with a black force that sent her flying off the marketplace’s balcony; which further complicates her desire to go to the fountain plaza.

Aqua cried out as her back hit solid ground after from falling from quite a height and groaningly tried to push herself upright. Casting a quick cure spell on her, Aqua growled at the sight of stairs before her. She’s going to have to hurry.

Aqua raced the glowing red eyes fixated on her as she skipped two steps at a time up the flight of stairs. Its next attack is bound to come soon, so she had to reach even ground before it does anything. Unfortunately for her, the Heartless never play fair. Before Aqua can reach plateaued ground, the Heartless skids in front of her, effectively halting her ascent. She curses under her breathe again and watches as the Heartless, shrouds itself in shadows yet again.

Its red eyes were the only thing Aqua can see, so she kept a close eye on it and hopefully figure out where the Heartless will appear next. But its movements were simply too fast for Aqua to follow and the second she closes her eyes for just a moment, the Heartless jumps out and charges at her from behind. At the very last minute, Aqua summons her barrier and was sent flying towards the railings. Unfazed by the hit, she immediately guided the polygonal shaped defenses towards her opponent to inflict damage, but was thwarted by the latter’s insane speed.

She cast a quick cure spell on herself and once again waited for her the enemy to show itself.

Now expecting the charge to come out of the blue, Aqua was able to teleport out of the way of the Heartless' trajectory and immediately followed the defensive maneuver with an offensive trap. Several magic circles appeared on the ground next to Aqua, and she lay waiting for the Heartless to come take the bait.

The Heartless charges again from the front and Aqua teleports out of the way to let the trap do its work.The erratic moving Heartless stumbles back, stunned by the attack. Aqua takes this chance to inflict as much damage as she can by springing herself high in the air with a double jump and raised her keyblade in the air.

She flashes out in a spark of white light and reappears a second later closer towards the stunned Heartless with pillars of light erupting from the ground beneath her. She disappears again, and reappears with another pillar of light. She tries again for the third time but was sent flying back by the Heartless' returned vigor. The Heartless charges forward again and Aqua tumbles down on the flight of stairs.

She quickly resumes her footing and changes her plan of attack, choosing to teleport behind the Heartless whenever it charges right for her instead. This tactic seemed to work best, alongside casting a few damage heavy spells as it forced the Heartless to stop hiding in shadows and finally show its true self.

The Heartless roars and dispels its shadowy cloak around it to reveal a large black and dark purple Heartless with blue markings etched on its face and body. Dark magenta spikes ran down its back and large chains hung from its clawed forelegs. Its jagged mouth snapped at the area nearby and Aqua frowned at the familiar looking Heartless.

She has faced one of these before and it was a pain to defeat, but she'll have to push through. If she learned anything from her last encounter with it, she knows this Heartless will not let her escape unless she kills it.

Once the Dark Hide leapt to attack with its claws, Aqua fired a three quick fireballs from the tip of her keyblade, and followed it with a blast of lightning. Once again taking advantage of her opponents stunned status Aqua pirouettes in the air and with her keyblade raised, summons a thin layer of ice around her in her cycle. Sheets of ice encase the enemy before Aqua send it flying backwards.

Quickly taking on her Spell Weaver ability, Aqua rapidly lands six slashes unto the enemy and summons a large ice crystal in the small space between her and the Heartless as the latter attempts to spin with fire erupting from its hide. The crystal shatters on Aqua's command and sends both her and the Dark Hide flying on opposite directions.

A trail of white icy fog separates both them from each other as the fire evaporates the cold crystal into air. The Dark Hide roars in anger and immediately gets back on its feet to tackle Aqua out cold.

Aqua rolls out of the way and once again puts up a barrier to protect herself and offensively use it as homing beacons. In retaliation, the Dark Hide swipes viciously in front of it and spins around with fire trailing after it, and Aqua takes a step back after taking damage. She cures herself and prepares to perform another thunder spell, which she immediately follows with multiple parries of reprisal attacks.

With a flick of her keyblade, time seemingly slows around Aqua and the Dark Hide appeared to move more sluggishly than normal. Aqua teleports into multiple points around the Heartless and strikes as much hits as she can on it before the spell wore off. She fires one final lightning based spell before a sudden surge of energy passed through her.

A faint green glow enveloped Aqua as her second drive form is activated and she quickly pirouetted on her left foot. She raised her keyblade at the ready for another quick barrage of physical attacks.

The Dark Hide bounds towards her with great speed and agility, prompting Aqua to plant yet another explosive trap to hopefully slow its movements. The Heartless dodges them completely this time and Aqua was forced to settle with landing hits instead.

Aqua throws the Heartless up in the air with a forceful swing accompanied by a wind spell and teleports directly above it to smash it back down on the ground. She immediately follows it with a parry that warps the energy around her into spikes of energy planted in various angles around the agile Dark Hide and releases the accumulated energy in a powerful shock wave.

The Dark Hide slows down and cries, this time appearing more in place than before. It lunges for Aqua, which she dodges perfectly, then begins running in circles around the Keyblade master, effectively trapping her inside a circle of red, green, and purple streaks of light. Aqua watched the disorienting after-images of the Heartless carefully before catching a quick movement from the corner of her eye.

The Dark Hide pounces and hits Aqua, stunning her for a moment. Aqua casts another cure spell on herself and mentally prepares herself for another attack like that. When it happens again, Aqua was quick to cart-wheel to the side. For one last time, the Heartless disappears from sight and descends from the heavens, leaving a shockwave that sends Aqua flying to the edges of the stairwell's railings.

Aqua catches herself and instinctively activates another barrier when the Dark Hide bounds after her and released a move that hacked at her in a terrifying speed. The attack happened so fast that it almost left afterimages in the surrounding area. Aqua had to blink out what she saw specifically.

The protective barrier couldn't handle the intensity of the attack and shattered almost intantly forcing Aqua to retreat to the side. She quickly released an onslaught of fire attacks, which seemed to unfazed the Heartless but Aqua kept on with any fire based attack she had in her arsenal until she was practically dancing on fire herself.

With every hack and slash attack she released on this beast, fire accompanied her attacks and doubled their damage. Soon enough the Dark Hide stumbles back in defeat and dissolved back into darkness, hopefully never to be seen again.

Aqua dismisses her keyblade and falls down on her knees, her breath labored and eyelids heavy. She gives herself a few moments to catch her breathing before looking up the remaining flight of stairs she has yet to climb.

"Just a few more," she says to herself. "A few more."

Pushing herself up to her feet, Aqua begins her last trek up the stairs, as the last remaining pieces of land crumbled around her with every step. As her consciousness threatened to wane from the excessive magic use, Aqua finally reached the top of the staircase and thankfully saw the child standing beside the fountain.

Her eyes grew wide at the realization that they were looking down at an unmoving Heartless just a few meter away from them. The small shadow merely stared back at the young child, its yellow orbed eyes, glowing menacingly as though stuck in a conversation with them.

Aqua re-summoned her keyblade and took heavy steps to protect the child from the Heartless but something about this scene reminded her of earlier. A flash of blue in the Heartless' yellow orbs made Aqua relax.

"It's all gone…" she heard the child hiccup. “It's…. It's dying again… It… It's all my fault… I – Chirity – I –"

The Heartless' antenna suddenly twitched and the next thing Aqua knows, the child falls on their knees and was crying out loud. The foreign darkness she's grown accustomed to, exploded into something much more terrifying than before, as she actually saw it erupt from the child and the last thing Aqua knows is the darkness engulfing both her and the child into nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. This chapter took so long to re-write. Consider this an apology confession. 
> 
> I actually have this written as a one-shot initially but I couldn't stomach 14k+ words in a single chapter so I divided it into five, but silly dumb me, somehow deleted everything she wrote for what happens after the newly intended chapter 1. And while I remember how the story progression goes, I had to start from scratch. And so here we are. Like months late from update. I'm so, so sorry. I also had to re-write this chapter like three times because I wasn't happy with the tone I had going, this one is the closest I have to being happy with because of the fight in the end. I freaking hate writing fight scene but I like how this turned out.
> 
> Let's play a little game shall we, can you, my dear readers, figure out which magic attacks I have Aqua use? Save of course for the drive forms. This should be easy. Next chapter should be up whenever I finish it, but it should be soon. So review and leave kudos/subscribe to get your updates steamy hot, hot, hot. Thank you for all the reviews and kudos left for the first chapter, they have greatly motivated me to finish this story.


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aqua doesn't know how to approach the child about their connection to the darkness. Even more so, she doesn't know how to handle the child's weird nightmares.

Aqua woke up gasping for air as she held tightly on her heaving chest. She immediately cast cure on herself and let out a satisfied sigh when she felt the pain of air re-entering her lungs subsided. 

She looked around the new world, and her mind instantly flared up in urgency to locate her companion. She was hoping they'd land next to each other, considering the distance between them before the darkness took over. But it would seem that darkness shared the child's sentiments to be far away from her Silently, Aqua wondered if it was the child's wish that summoned the darkness and separated them in the first place.

She shook her head. While the child may have some form of influence with the darkness, surely their control over it can't be that powerful. They don't even look like someone that is a servant of darkness. Then again, Aqua pondered, the only servants of darkness she's met are Xehanort and Vanitas, and they were messed up from the beginning.

Aqua looked at her hand and closed it tightly into a fist. She knew it was bad to linger on thoughts planted by the darkness, but she can't help but wonder whether she'll also be able to influence the darkness the same way the child does if she stays trapped here longer. If she does... does that mean... the child was trapped here longer than she has? Aqua's mind was filled with dread as she welcomed the thought.

It has only been ten years and she's already developed awareness for the darkness. Hypothetically, if she were to remain trapped for another ten, then she may also develop the ability to influence it. Control it. With that line of thinking, the child... "No," she stopped herself. "You can't think like that."

Regardless of how long they've been trapped here, Aqua knows she won't get any answers. Not when the child in question is currently suffering from amnesia, _and_ is nowhere to be found. She needs to find them first, then they'll talk about it.

"One step at a time, Aqua. One step at a time." She climbs up a small hill and closes her eyes to feel around the darkness for any indication of the child's own brand of darkness. She feels around for the conflicting cold and warmth it has, but was only greeted by the chaotic form of darkness. She immediately retreated her control and resumed walking.

She didn't particularly like using this ability too much, but if it would help her find the child faster, then she'd willingly use it. After all, if she were to think about it, she's not really using the darkness. She's merely trying to understand how it felt and uses that to guide her. 

Once she began her trek towards the north, Aqua found her thoughts lingering back to the amnesiac child.

She's already established that the child has some form of control over the darkness. How that came to be, or how the child can do it, Aqua doesn’t know. But Aqua feels as though whether their control was unconscious or not, the child has made this darkness their own. Much like how Terra used his darkness; before Master Xehanort stole it for himself and turned it evil. Trying to figure this out on her own would just lead to a dead-end, she thought. The darkness was hard enough to understand on its own, what more a person using it.

Aqua sighed and instead thought about the reasons how the child can survive in the realm of darkness. 

She hasn't really thought about it till now due to more pressing matters. But with the current peace she's walking through, it's only right she piece her thoughts together. Aqua pulled out the book she grabbed from the child’s home and flipped through the pages. She was hoping to find something useful in it, but just as she feared, the information it once held have disappeared along with the town. So it came as a surprise when she found the same two photographs she grew interested earlier in to be unchanged. The child’s face was still obscured in both the photos but everything else remained the same. The picture with the stuffed cat was still a failed group shot, and the beach photo still had a black spot in front of the child’s face. Aqua knew that a lot of her questions can be answered by these photographs, but without the child around to answer them, she remains in the dark about every major detail.

Aqua returned the photos inside the book and continued on in her search for the child in this vastly open world. She tried feeling around the darkness again and was able to pick up a very faint semblance of the child’s darkness. It’s simply too small to describe what its feeling at the moment, but Aqua knows she’s heading the right direction.

Renewed with vigor, Aqua broke into a sprint as new thoughts blossomed into her mind.

Forgotten history and connection to the darkness aside, the mystery as to how the child was able to withstand the darkness and its influence continued to gnaw at Aqua’s mind. She had initially assumed that the child had a stronger heart than most, possibly strong enough to wield a keyblade themselves. Having their heart protected by the light would explain how the child is alive in the realm of darkness despite being in the world swallowed by the darkness beforehand. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized the opposite may hold truth as well.

Before having their world taken by the darkness, the child may have been accustomed to using it, like Xehanort was. Rendering them completely immune to its base form and can thus survive in the realm of darkness. Or perhaps, the worst one of them all, was that the child themselves was dead too. The form that Aqua see’s is nothing but a phantom of their lingering heart. A shell of what the person once was; a body capable of feeling, but one without a heart. A nobody but a creature of darkness that was strong enough to have a will of its own _and fool Aqua into caring_.

Aqua shook her head and decided that she did not like that theory. The child may be blunt and generally rude from time to time, but she knows within herself that a tortured soul like that child cannot be a servant of darkness. She’s seen what those were like, and the child is not one of them.

Aqua pinched the bridge of her nose as she climbed atop a sloping hill. The darkness, the _real_ darkness, was starting to influence her thoughts again. She definitely preferred the child’s own brand of darkness. At least that one didn’t intrude in her thoughts like it was some kind of parasite. As Aqua reached the peak of the hill, she spotted a small barn-house grow by the horizon. Delighted by the safety it might provide the child, Aqua began to sprint and just as she did, she felt the darkness spike all around her.

Instinctively, Aqua took a step back and summoned Master’s Defender as Heartless began to appear before her. They appeared disoriented and did not attack her as they usually would. Instead, the Heartless turned their attention at a bush Aqua missed, that appeared to be moving ever so slowly. The Heartless, curious as they are dangerous began discovering it the only way they know how, attacking it.

The child jumped out of the bush, much to Aqua’s surprise, to dodge the projectiles coming at them, and sprinted towards the barn. A hoard of Fluttering’s burst into life in mid-air and chased after them, diving after the child with their sharp blade like wings one after the other.

Aqua almost screamed when one came too close to wounding the child, but to her relief, the child rolled out of the way and chucked a rock at their pursuers. The Heartless screeched, momentarily fazed by the unfamiliar attack, and the child vaulted themselves over the barn’s fence and locked themselves inside.

Aqua hastily tore through the group of Fluttering’s as she ran after her companion, but another flash of purple alerted her of reinforcements. She paused just near the barn house’s fence and turned on her heels to defend it from incoming Heartless.

A new wave of Fluttering’s appeared over above the barn and Aqua did her best to decimate their numbers by throwing magic at them. She missed by a long shot when a Defender tackled her from behind and instead cast Blizzaga at a poor wooden barrel.

The child scurries back out onto the field after the Fluttering’s found a way to break through the windows. They were now armed with a weapon in the form of a rake, and fumbled around with it as they parried attacks from the flying Heartless. The child squealed when a twirling Fluttering broke their rake in half, leaving them only with half a weapon. They flung one half of the stick towards a Fluttering, which only angered the latter. The child let out a dry laugh and resumed to running away with only a half of their stick left to defend themselves.

Aqua jumped back to gain distance between her and the very stubborn Defender, before aiming a barrier spell towards the child. The very same Defender attacks her from the side and throws her precision shot off course for the second time and instead hit the hoard and trapped three of them inside a barrier.

The child seemed to recognize Aqua’s magic and presence at that point and threw a worried, but thankful look over to her.

Aqua grinned at the young child, assuring them of her fate, before resuming her own fight.

The child watched as Aqua fended her own against the Defender and pushed themselves to find a way to help her. Once the Fluttering’s broke free, the child was ready to have a match of their own. They hacked and slashed at the air-borne Heartless, until one flew low enough for them to send one careening towards Aqua.The poor thing flew directly towards the keyblade wielder, who had just finished with the Defender, and instinctively swiped her blade through the Heartless. Aqua watched as the child finished off the last two Fluttering’s by literally stabbing the other through the chest, and slamming the other with a broad piece of wood from the fence.

“Nice swing,” Aqua said as she dismissed her keyblade and walked up to the child, who was breathing heavily from all the running and moving. She kneeled down to the child’s eye level and gave them a once over, mindful not to get too close within their space or touch them without notice.

“I’m fine,” they growled.

“I know,” she said softly, “but it won’t hurt to be sure.”

“I said I’m _fine_. You’re not my mother,” they said with a roll of eyes, and pushed Aqua off their case.

They returned to the barn house and worked in unsaid unison to fortify and make their new temporary safe house comfortable. Aqua patched up the broken windows while the child tied up a bundle of hay and stacked them on top of each other. Once they were done, Aqua saw the child pull off a dirty blanket covering a vehicle in the room and laid it out smoothly on the haystack.

They bounded off on top of it and let out a relieved sigh once they found the right spot to nestle on. Aqua smiled at the innocence of it and contemplated whether or not this is the right time to ask the child about the photographs. She felt around her pockets and pulled out the book she was half-expecting to disappear again amidst the child’s presence. Instead here it is, completely unchanged.

“Hey,” Aqua started to get the child’s attention. “Mind if I ask you a few questions?”

“You’re already asking.”

“Well,” Aqua chuckled, “You’re not wrong.” She laid down the book before the child and almost instantly their eyes grew wide in recognition.

They reached out for the book and traced their fingers over the covers intricate design; eyes glazing over as though conflicted on what to feel about it. “Where did you get this?”

“From the house. I assumed it was yours and took it,” she explained. “Thought it might help jog a few memories.”

The child didn’t respond and only stared at the cover for quite some time. Their fingers brushed the edges of the book as though wanting to open it, but Aqua noticed the soft trembling in their hands and placed her own over the child’s.

“It’s alright,” she said calmly. “I’ll help you through it.”

Together, both of them flipped through the books blank pages until they found the photographs inserted in the middle of the book. Aqua watched as the child scanned the multiple figures in them but generally paid no mind to them. Instead, the child’s gaze was fixated on the photo with the white haired boy.  

The child picked the picture up and brushed a thumb over the boy’s face. In an odd turn of events, the child began to tear up.

Aqua opened her mouth to comfort the child, but was interrupted by the child’s own musings.

“I don’t know any of these people,” the child said with a contradicting, detached statement from what they were currently feeling.

“But… that’s you isn’t it?” Aqua pressed as she pointed at the child in the pictures.

The child looked over the photos once more, eyes lingering on the silver haired boy and the black haired girl, then to the third person, whose hair was the only visible part in the photo, and nodded. “Yes, but I still don’t know any of them.”

“Well, we never could rely on your memories,” Aqua stated as she watched the child stare at the picture as though trying to jog their own recollections. She knew it was wrong to prod the darkness for the child’s emotions, but she subtly tried to feel around their darkness to figure out what the child will not say in words.                                           

They felt sad.

Regret. Guilt. 

As the seconds passed Aqua felt their emotions morph to rage and anguish. Their feelings grew more intense the longer the child stared at the photographs. Fearing that the child might lose themselves to their emotions again, Aqua immediately cut their focus by saying, “It’s alright if you have nothing at the moment, I just thought it was worth a try.”

She procured the book and the photographs, but the child refused to return the one with the silver haired boy. Aqua frowned a bit at the child’s unexplained actions but let them keep it in hopes that it will trigger some memories. “You should get some rest.”

The child merely hummed in unnatural agreement and lied back down on their bed, eyes still staring at the photograph on their hand.

* * *

Aqua didn’t know she had drifted away to sleep while watching over the child and their surroundings from Heartless until she heard the child talk in their sleep.

They were mumbling unintelligible words, and she figured the dream wasn’t a good one; especially with the way the child threw their head from side to side. Their shallow breathes and deeply seethed frown, made them sweat all over the makeshift bed of hay. A nightmare. “Mn… _No_ …” the child mumbled. “You lied – didn’t – _tell_...?”

Aqua leaned in to lightly shake the child awake, but was forced away by the child’s growing movements. They began to trash around more violently, and Aqua haven’t the faintest on what triggered such a dream. She only watched as the child pleaded out to a single, breathy name.

“Ephemer?” she echoed in slight interest. Now that’s a name she hasn’t heard of. It certainly isn’t the child’s name, or else they wouldn’t be calling out to it. Perhaps it was one of the kids in the photo they were holding; a person of great importance – the silver haired boy?

When the child started to calm down, Aqua sat beside them and cradled them protectively in her arms.

Ventus used to have plenty of nightmares when he first arrived in the Land of Departure. Aqua recalls having dozens of unannounced sleepovers with him, and sometimes Terra, just to fight off the bad dreams. She never really did much to help the aftermath of his nightmares aside from providing him comfort, so she hoped the act will yield the same results. Unfortunately, this wasn't a simple nightmare.

“I hate –” the child hiccuped. “How could – they don’t – deserve – I – **_STOP_**!”

A sudden wave of darkness phased through Aqua, filling her with a split second of emotions that aren’t her own yet again. The feeling diminished faster than the previous one did and generally left her more confused than terrified. She couldn’t even describe what she felt with how fast it came and went.

Outside, multiple Heartless appeared, enticed by the sudden spike of concentrated darkness. Aqua heard them clamor amongst themselves and was quick to leave the child’s side and stand in front of them protectively. The Heartless swarmed inside the small barn after a loud explosion tore open the front door of the warehouse.

Aqua’s eyes narrowed as she counted too many Heartless and immediately cast barrier around the child. She deflected a fire ball from a red nocturne and threw it back at a blue nocturne, which dispersed into darkness upon contact. One by one, she sent them back to where they came from, all the while making sure the child remained safe.

A sudden gut wrenching scream abruptly ended Aqua’s skirmish with the Heartless, and she felt her gut twist in horror at its possible indications. All the Heartless vanished without a moment’s notice and Aqua wobbled on her own two legs. She wanted to fall on her knees and cry, but she managed to brush the feeling off and quickly made her way back to the child – only to find then missing from the bed.

“Kid?” Aqua calls out to nothing, and no one responds. “Kid, where are you?” She hears a wet sniffle from the corner and thankfully finds the child curled up, boxed protectively in their arms, and shaking terribly in fear while chanting something akin to a prayer.

“Kid?” she called out again but the child remained unresponsive.

“ _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…_ _I didn’t mean too. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, It’s my fault, I didn’t mean it, I_ –” and they continued endlessly.

Growing concerned for the fear that was built up in the child, Aqua sat beside them and pulled them in a strong, firm embrace. The child abruptly stilled and stopped their chanting before slowly relaxing into her arms. Aqua let out a sigh of relief and glanced down at the child to check on them.

They were smiling softly and seemingly looked undisturbed by any sort of nightmare.

* * *

“I had a nightmare?” the child asked as they walked along a well-made path.

“It looked pretty bad,” she nods. “Are you sure you remember none of it?”

The child contemplates over the question for a moment and shakes their head. “I don’t think you can even dream here.”

“A valid point,” Aqua hummed in slight agreement. “Then, do you know an Ephemer?”

The child stopped upon the mention of the name and groaned audibly in obvious irritation as they rubbed circles on their temple. “I may – no. I don’t know who they are. Where did you hear that name?”

"You said it," Aqua informed them. "In your sleep. You called for them."

The child gaze fell to their palms and balled it into a fist. Their eyes turned dark and merciless, as they dismissed the thought. “Well whatever. It won’t matter if he’s someone important or not. Everyone in Daybreak Town is gone, and I’m the only one left. Remembering won’t do me any good.”

The child turned away from Aqua, effectively ending their conversation without saying it. Aqua sighed, growing a little disheartened that despite the obvious progress the child is having with their memories, they refused to acknowledge it and buried it deeper.

Ephemer was the first piece, and now – the name of their home world. Aqua picked it up almost immediately. The way the child said it so nonchalantly either meant it was a slip of the tongue or something the child didn’t realize they said, or remembered. She chose not to bring it up during the conversation because of the child’s already sour mood. Pressing them with more questions after they dismissed the previous may push them over the edge and completely close Aqua off. That’s the last thing Aqua wants them to do.

For now she will bide her time and patiently wait for the child to approach this progress on their own pace. Waiting seemed to work best with the child, and only time will tell if that is the same for all cases. The child will talk once they are ready to, and Aqua will be there to listen.

The nightmares continued to plague the child’s sleep after that. They would happen very sporadically, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t, but when they do, Aqua noticed that they always follow a pattern.

The child will talk in their sleep, mumbling incoherent apologies and throwing accusing words at someone in their past. But despite being talkative in their sleep, Aqua still had no idea what they were dreaming about. During these episodes, Aqua always felt the child’s darkness spring to life around them. It hasn’t influenced her emotions in the same way they did before, nor has it summoned Heartless, but she can definitely feel their pain.

She learned not too long after that during these episodes, she cannot pull the child out of it. It’s not something Aqua liked but she had to learn how to stomach the child’s cries and be patient enough for the dreams to pass. Thankfully enough, the nightmares don’t last very long. They happen for a few minutes and end with the child screaming as they startle awake, with a hand tightly grabbing at their chest, and breathing heavily. They then curl into a ball within themselves and repeatedly apologize and blame themselves for something horrible. Shortly after that, the child calms down and completely forgets about what they had just dreamed about. Or even if they did remember, they never talked about it.

Aqua wanted to help them; console them and help them sort their memories and feelings out but as she told herself, she never asked about them. Not until the child brought them up themselves. And even if she did break that self-oath and asked, she wouldn’t really get the chance to ask either because the child reverted to being the distant and silent companion by the seventh episode.

She supposed the child just didn’t want to let new knowledge slip and suddenly have Aqua hound all over it like last time and simply kept it to themselves. Aqua can’t say she didn’t understand it, but she can safely say that not being trusted hurt a bit. She wanted the child to trust her, but with the way the child is acting, it’s clear that they still don’t.

Instead of brooding over it like Terra probably would, Aqua decided to act and do the next best thing to make the child put their trust in her. So when the darkness _so_ kindly created for them, a world that is looking worse for wear with its collapsing buildings, overturned billboards, unstable lamp posts with flickering bulbs, and heaps of trash littered about, Aqua made a decision to make the child a present.

It was like that old proverb – “Another world’s trash is another man’s blessing" – or something like that.

While Aqua searched for well proportionate metal pieces, and quite possibly shards of glass, the child slid down a heap of trash and jumped over a dirty looking clamp like metal sticking out from the ground. They pulled it out from the heap and fell back with a loud yelp as a dirty yellow colored box exploded out from the ground.

Aqua walked towards the child to help them up, but was refused with a quick dismissive wave. The keyblade master took a step back as the child walked over to inspect their new find. It was a small robot-like machine with a box shaped body that doubles as some sort of container, with two binocular-shaped eyes with wide circular lenses for eyes, foldable arms with three long, rectangular, flat metals for a hand, and disjointed rollers for feet.

The child tinkered with the robot for a bit before they pulled out a pair of goggles from inside its body. The child marveled at it for moment before wiping out the dust from the glass with their sleeves and trying it on. They snickered at one of the broken eye sockets and poked their own eye through it. They playfully twirled it around their fingers as they jumped off to leave the robot to rot with the other trash.

Aqua merely followed behind the child as they continued to loot for more materials from the piles of trash and proceeded to do the same to make her present. She initially wanted to make us of glass, like she did for Ventus and Terra, but every glass shard she’s found were either too big, too thick, or too thin. None of them were quite the same as the other so she had to make do with metal plates instead.

It took her a few cycles, or skirmishes with the Heartless, before she can properly decorate and polish the jagged edges of the star keychain on her hand. The child had grown curious of her little project in that short cycle, and while they never asked about it, Aqua knew they would try to catch a peek at what she was working on. She’s a little proud that despite the child’s sneaky attempts to catch her, Aqua kept it a mystery.

She can’t have the child spoil the surprise by themselves.

Aqua pocketed her present and looked over at the child who was once again trapped in another nightmare. They were trashing violently on the sofa bed again, and no matter how many times she’s seen this routine, Aqua admittedly will never get used to it. She hated not being able to do anything to help them, and especially hated how her only option was to wait and watch them fight off their own demons alone.

Aqua knew comforting them was futile, but she still felt like being around them while they were trapped in their own darkness, helps them overcome it somehow. As she sat beside them, Aqua fully expected the episode to continue as it usually does while she brushed their hair; so it came as a surprise when the wave of darkness never happened, and the child instead pushed themselves upright and raised an arm forward, as though reaching for something.

“Hey,” she greeted them. “You alright?”

The child didn’t seem to hear her and remained in that position for quite some time, their fingers twitching ever so often. Aqua could’ve sworn she saw a spark of magic flicker at the child’s fingertips once, and waited for it to happen again, but it never did. A trick of the light, perhaps.

After a little while, the child began to open their eyes, which was clouded and glazed over like they were stuck in some kind of trance before steadily and slowly, the color returned in their eyes. They blinked confusedly at their current position and lowered their hand.

“Aqua?"

“Hm?”

“What happened?”

“I’m not quite sure,” she answered truthfully. “Your nightmares don’t usually end like this. Did you dream about something else this time?”

The child frowned and raised their legs towards their chest, brows furrowed in deep thought.

Aqua waited for the child to say something, but when they kept their mouth shut, she opted to continue with her waiting game. But as she moved to leave, a soft tug on her sleeves kept her from going too far.

“Wait,” the child said. Aqua turned, fully expecting the child to mention why they want her to stay, but the child’s lips only trembled in indecisiveness. “I –”

Aqua smiled at their attempt to explain themselves and placed a hand on their head. “It’s okay. Take your time to recover then you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t – You have to believe me when I say I really don’t remember anything,” they said truthfully. “I try to remember, with the pictures, the – the feelings. I try to, every single time. I know you’re telling the truth, that I’m having these nightmares and stuff but I don’t – Some part of me keeps telling me that you're crazy and that I should leave you behind, because you’re making everything confusing. I’m confused – I’m angry - I don’t know what I’m supposed to think and feel anymore. Does that – does that make sense?”

Aqua blinked, unsure of what to think and say at this sudden openness coming from the child. She knew she brought this upon herself when she told them that they can tell her anything, but this was beyond that. It was all over the place. The child knows one thing and feels another, and sometimes they have trouble believing which is which and ends up doubting everything instead. No wonder they took their time to talk to her.

“Thank you,” she said, “for telling me this. And while I don’t quite understand what is happening to you as well, I think this should help you sort it out even a little.” Aqua finally fished out the wayfinder from her pockets and placed it on the child’s hands.

The child’s eyes widened as they ran their fingers through the metal and turned it over in slight fascination. “It’s your keychain…”

Aqua laughed. “Yes, it’s like the one I have. It’s called a wayfinder.”

“What does it do?”

“Nothing really,” she replied. “It’s just a charm that I made to imitate a paopu fruit. It’s a fruit that’s said to connect the destinies of two people. Once they share it with each other, they'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what.”

“Sounds childish,” the child deadpans and Aqua lets out a dry laugh.

“I suppose so,” she reluctantly agrees. “But I gave one to my friends before too, and I even though we are apart now, I know that they’re still out there, fighting like I am, and one day, I’ll get to see them again.”

The child frowned at the wayfinder on their hand and asked, “Then what’s it got to do with me?”

“You’ve lost your friends too haven’t you? In the darkness?” The child didn’t respond, but Aqua took it as a yes. “They may not have their own wayfinder, but if your heart searches for them, then I’m certain that this wayfinder will help you find them. If it can’t then…” she paused with uncertainty. “Then maybe it can protect you from your nightmares.”

“That sounds stupid,” the child scoffed. Aqua doesn’t know whether to be offended or be glad that the child was responding to her again. “But thanks anyway,” the child said as they tugged on the small chain dangling on the charm and scoured around their current living quarters for a longer chain to turn the keychain into a necklace, effectively placing it close to their heart.

The child may not believe in the naivety of the philosophy behind the wayfinder or how much it meant and has helped Aqua before, but without saying it in words, Aqua knew that the child found a bit of hope in it. And to the keyblade master, giving out hope is more than enough.

Despite the promise of protection, the nightmares, somehow, only became worse from then on out. They happened less frequently now compared to before, and the child would trash less in these episode, but after every nightmare, the child wakes up with growing heavy fatigue hanging beneath their eyes. They began to look paler, moved slower than normal, and appeared less focused as cycles went by.

Aqua noticed they would always drift off amidst their thoughts and would always stare off in a far off distance far more than usual. They were a lot more irritable and often lashed out at the minor inconveniences. One time, the child got so fed up with Aqua’s insistence to have them rest for a while and snapped at her. Aqua wouldn’t even call it pressing the child to do something for the betterment of themselves, it was just that, the child was in no mood to talk to her, and she made the mistake of doing so. This “insistence” forced the child to release another wave of emotions powerful enough to overtake Aqua’s own and make her heed the child’s demand to be left alone.

It scared Aqua, knowing that the child was beginning to degrade again despite always having the wayfinder around their neck. She thought that maybe it wasn’t working its magic like it did with her and her friends – connecting them and keeping them all safe from the darkness the best they could. But it’s also possible that the darkness was dampening its magic and instead turning it against its own purpose.  

She tried to get it off the child, just to see if her hypothesis was right, but was met with the child’s shortening temper. Aqua had no idea how to approach the child after that. It was like they’ve completely closed her off from everything. That was until she saw the child standing at the edge of a cliff in Daybreak Town, which appeared again after so long of cycling worlds, with the photograph of Ephemer on one hand and their wayfinder on the other.

“You alright?” she asked the cautiously, careful not to step anywhere too close to set them off again.

“I don’t know if I’m ever going to be alright,” the child responded without malice. They just sounded exhausted. Far more than usual. “It’s so easy pretending to be okay, when you’ve been alone for so long with no memory of anything. But I guess I have to thank you for trying when I’ve given up on everything.”

“What are you trying to say?” Aqua pressed further, even though she felt like jumping in joy just hearing the child thank her for her efforts.

“The nightmares…” they continued, “I remember them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADAH! New chapter! Don't worry I haven't forgotten, I'm just a relatively slow writer. Things are getting interesting finally, and here we have some mentions of Ephemer and somehow Skuld. They're not going to play a huge role in this story, but they will help Player remember a lot of things, so stay tuned to know why. Actually, I'd like to hear some theories about what happened to Player in the past; and how does Skuld and Ephemer fit in to that? No biggie, I'm just curious if some can guess.
> 
> Here's this chapter's actual game: Guess the Disney/Pixar world Aqua and the Player found themselves in where Aqua built the new wayfinder! It's fairly easy. Hehe.
> 
> Here are last chapters spell list (in order of use): Firaga, Barrier Surge, Curaga, Seeker Mine, Magic Hour, Thundaga Shot, Glacier, and Aerial Slam. 
> 
> Thank you much for the reviews and increased interest for this series by the way. Next chapter should be up in a week or two, depending on my work load in school, so review and follow/favorite to get your updates steamy hot, hot, hot.
> 
> Sushi Out!


	4. Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aqua finally gets somewhere with the child's memory loss, but things don't go quite as planned.

"That’s great!” Aqua cheered. “Do you remember what you’ve been dreaming about?”

“Not... not really,” the child mumbled reluctantly. “Everything’s still… blurry. I know that I know them, they're... there but I can't quite remember, _remember._ Every time I wake up it, it fades away so fast all I remember is what I feel. And I'm always scared, and angry, but mostly just… lonely.”

Aqua placed a comforting hand on their shoulder and opted to stay quiet to listen. The child looked up at her and Aqua firmly nodded at them for assurance. They’ll get through this together.

“I may not remember anything, but I'd have to be a fool to think the feelings don't mean anything. After so many times waking up that way, I decided to think on it instead of ignoring it.” They looked up at Aqua with an oddly determined fire in their eyes, and said, “I don't want to just... feel. I want to remember. I want to remember everything.”

"And you will," Aqua assured them. "But it won't come back all at once. One step at a time." 

"I know. That's why I'm trying to hold unto the feelings more rather than the memories. They -" the child choked in slight hesitation. "I think they can't be trusted."

"Your memories?" Aqua asked as she took a seat beside the child over the cliff that was overlooking the expanse of Daybreak Town.

The child nodded cryptically. "I can't explain it just yet but, I don't want to trust them. But Ephemer..." the child wondered "I think he can be." 

“The silver haired boy?”

They nodded and handed over the picture to Aqua. “I know him. I just didn't know his name until you said it. I don’t know when it started, or why it started, but he did something for me. Whenever I see his photo, I feel - I feel like I did something bad. Like, I never got the chance to apologize to him, but I also feel angry at him? Like really, _really_ angry. I can't even explain it," the child rambled.

“I know I said that he can be trusted, but a part of me also doesn't want to. I can't - I can't put it into words..." they stuttered. "Is that weird?" 

Aqua hummed in understanding. "In your position, I don't see it that way." 

"We have a lot of missing pieces," she started. "Missing pieces with no lines to connect them to each other. All we have is your word and heart," she said as she placed a hand on the child's chest. "Your memories may be messed up, but your heart will always be in the right place." 

The child frowned at the sentiment, as though doubting it for a moment, but nonetheless smiled in gratitude. “Anyway, I tried to think more about him. I thought that maybe I can remember something if I held on to just that one thought. _His name._  It didn’t really do anything. Until... you gave me the wayfinder."

“Your nightmares became worse,” Aqua mumbled apologetically. 

"Don't be sorry," the child said. "It helped. In the worst way possible, but it helped." They traced the edges of the wayfinder with their thumb and said, "I guess connecting people's hearts doesn't sound so stupid after all."

“Anyway,” the child continued, “I began to remember things after that. And uhm… Sorry if I snapped at you back then. I didn’t want to lose anything I could hold on to by being too distracted.”

Aqua nodded understandably. “It’s not your fault. I can understand wanting to solve this on your own first before asking me for help. You do know that I can help you right? I said that we're in this together."  

“That’s why I’m telling you now,” they said firmly. “I need your help. I can’t – I can’t do this alone anymore. Every time I try to remember my head starts to hurt, like really, _really_ bad. And the memories, the feelings, they – they disappear quicker now. I forget them faster than I can say Heartless. I’m not fast enough… But _you_ can. After a nightmare, you have to force me to tell you what I remember. Even if you have to hurt me just to get me to cooperate."

"Woah, woah, I'm not going to hurt you," Aqua gawked at the child's heavy handed determination. "I understand that you want answers but I cant-"

"You tell me I wake up from a nightmare without any sense of where or what is happening," they reiterated. "It's like I'm around but not fully. If my instinct is to cage myself in and not share anything before I lose it, then whats the point?!"

"I'm sure there is another way," Aqua begged.

"There _is_ no other way!" they yelled. "I don't know another way..."

Aqua placed her hands on top of the child's own that was holding unto the wayfinder and raised it between them. “We'll find another way. Together.”

The child held her eyes for sometime before breaking off with a sigh. "That can take us forever. Just forcing me to say it would be a lot easier."

"If we are doing this together, I wont agree to anything that will hurt you." 

"What if that's the only way to actually get anything done?" the child argued.

"Then I won't accept it."

The child laughed dryly. There was a slight shift in the darkness around them, which made Aqua wonder what she might've said to result a reaction from the child. 

“Like I said, I won't do anything thay hurts you. So let's begin with something other than that, what do we remember.”

"You know that I don't remember-" they caught Aqua's eye and suddenly blinked in understanding. "Okay... uh... There’s Ephemer, Daybreak Town – my home world, or so… I think it’s my home world,” they drift of a bit in recall.

“There’s also this girl with Ephemer. Sk -  Sk - Aaah... I dont remember her name.” They shook their head. “Either way, they’re both my friends.”

“That’s good,” Aqua cheers. “Anything else?”

“Uhm…” the child grumbles, closing their eyes and frowning a bit as the head ache was beginning to form. “The other kids in the photo… They – I don’t - uhm, that there they're uh..." they said while pointing to a boy wearing a funny looking glasses, and a girl wearing a pink frog hat. "They're always fighting but," the child laughed. "I think they secretly like each other."

Aqua found herself joining along in the child's sudden bout of happiness. "What else?"

"Leader," they added almost immediately as they pointed to a purple haired girl wearing a red bandana. "She's really nice. Very brave too." Their eyes turned somber for a moment before moving on to the last person in the picture. "Oh! And this is... this is uh... his name is... M - Migu - no... Mog!" They jumped. "His name is Mog! And he's my -  _hngh_!” the child lurched forward, while holding their throbbing head.

Aqua was quick to catch them and asked, “Are you alright?”

“I’m –” they hissed, “ _fine_. I told you remembering makes my head hurt. But that’s fine – I can still – I can try to remember what happened to Mog and the others… Just give me a bit of –” The child lurched forward as their face grimaced in untold amounts of pain and Aqua had enough.

She may not have been able to do anything while they were in a nightmare, but the child wasn’t in one right now, she can make them stop trying to remember by simply saying so. “Alright,” she said. “That’s enough remembering for the day.”

“But I –”

“End of discussion,” Aqua said sternly. “I can’t have you hurting yourself just to remember. We’ll take this slow like we always do. We don’t have to force ourselves to do anything.”

“Sorry,” the child apologized weakly. “I know you want to help me more than I want to myself, but that’s all I can remember right now.”

While none of the child’s memories painted a clear picture of their past life and how exactly they ended up in the realm of darkness, it’s still progress worth celebrating over to have them remember bits and pieces of people they cherished as friends. It was clear the child can only remember names and relationships at this point, so she was hopeful that they remembered who they were somehow.  “What about your name? Do you remember it yet?”

The child shook their head regretfully and apologized again.

“I see,” Aqua mumbled in thought. “I think it’s better for you to rest right now. But I absolutely forbid you to think about anything. If you want retrieve lost memories that’s triggering the nightmares, then it’s better to not think about them for now.”

“But I –” the child raised their voice to protest, but Aqua sent them a stern look that silently told the child that this wasn’t negotiable.

“You need rest,” Aqua reiterated. “In case you haven’t noticed you look very sickly right now, and I’d rather not have you collapsing on me while we’re surrounded by Heartless or fleeing a world. Understand?”

The child rolled their eyes and sarcastically said, “Yes, _mom_.”

* * *

As the child slept soundlessly beside her, Aqua smoothed out their hair and began to think about what they’ve so kindly shared to her. Everything about the child was odd and mysterious, even without them meaning to be from the moment she first met them. There were blatant clues hidden everywhere as to who the child may or may not be back in Daybreak Town. Their unexplained knowledge about the Heartless and the darkness, their control of the darkness, and the photographs, they all pointed to something Aqua can't quite understand yet. There was _so_ much clues, but so little threads to connect them.

It irritated Aqua a bit, to know that she had all the pieces but not the means to form a coherent picture with them to better aid the child in finding their lost self. She had multiple theories, multiple ideas as to who or what the child might be, but regardless of these ideas, and in light of the new piece of shared information she had just gotten from the child; Aqua felt as though something was holding the child back from reclaiming who they once were.

The child managed to find their reason and drive to start digging up their lost memories again thanks to her guidance. What she didn’t expect from that was the extraneous process the child had to go through just to retrieve pieces of themselves. And even though the road getting here was less than favorable, Aqua acknowledged the results they yielded – she just didn’t like it.

She understood that the dreams are the child’s gateway to accessing their buried memories, but what Aqua doesn’t understand is why, or how the child’s memories always morphed into nightmares. With this line of thought, it become obvious that something was fighting within the child that prevents them from fully accessing memories of old. Aqua supposed it was the child’s subconscious reaction to prevent them from remembering something dark and heavy. And based from what the child had just shared, the possibility of that explanation stands at a very high chance.

Aqua supposed that currently, the child wants to remember and regain their past self, but that past self of theirs, the one guarding their memories, only wants nothing but to forget about them. If that is truly the case, then there are two minds currently inhabiting the same body who both want different things because of their difference in time perspectives, and in turn, made this experience worse for both parties.

In a way, Aqua can quite understand it if the child’s conscious and subconscious personas are fighting each other to keep them whole and safe. If she could lock away memories she didn’t want to remember, she would do it too. But Aqua also understood the importance of keeping them in her mind and heart. These tragedies helped her become who she is now and it’s simply not right to forget who you are to stop hurting less. Everyone grows and learns from the mistakes of their past; that’s just how people are meant to mature.

But in the case of this child, their past wants to erase everything that made them who they are. Their past wants to them to move on without being held back by their previous choices, a choice Aqua can understand, but not clearly support, as the present only wants to find themselves again. And so this conflicting wants leads them to a tug and war with the key to everything; with one wanting to open them, and the other trying to keep it locked.

Aqua laughed. If that was really the case, then that would explain _a lot_ about the child’s darkness. The somber feelings was the child’s current feelings while the violent anger was that of his previous life; the one that wanted vengeance above all.

Still, Aqua wondered what the child must have been through to develop such a strong, subconscious defensive mechanism to protect themselves from hurting all over again. She whisked away a strand of hair from the child’s face and once again dwelled on the possibility that the child is more than what they’re expressing themselves to be.

She already accepted that possibility that the child's heart is stronger than most. They have a heart that chose to fight the darkness instead of being eaten by it. It’s the only other reasonable way the child could have survived their world when it was dying; but Aqua also kept in mind the holes that remained in that theory. As far as Aqua knew, hearts that didn’t die when the darkness takes over a world would simply wake in another world that has yet to be taken by the darkness. Yet, so mysteriously, the child found themselves in the realm of darkness, without memories, instead.

With that in mind, it is possible that the child’s past self wasn’t the one keeping their memories under lock and key, but the darkness itself. If the child remembered, then the darkness would lose a living heart that it can use to power itself for all eternity inside its realm; if their heart was truly that powerful.

Aqua grumbled, growing a little annoyed by all these hypothetical what-ifs.

She knew she can just ask the child to get more answers, but she knew that forcing the child to remember would only hurt them more, and Aqua didn’t want that. She had to piece together what the child remembers, regardless of how vague and seemingly irrelevant the information are to the both of them to make a decent picture, and hopefully jog the child’s memories without hurting them.

Calming down her nerves, Aqua back tracked from her current thoughts and recalled that one incident wherein the child woke up with their hands outstretched before them. She knew she saw something flicker at the child’s fingertips for a brief moment and wondered… could they have been summoning a keyblade?

Aqua raised her hand before her to mimic the child’s actions back then, and called forth Master’s Defender with her heart. With a slight twitch in her fingers, a burst of white light materialized the weapon to her hand. As Aqua gripped the handle, she wondered heavily if bringing it up now would hurt or help the child remember without hurting them. While she initially disagreed with the child's insistence to use force to make them remember faster, Aqua wondered if this really was the only way. 

Aqua balled her hands into a tight fist, once again cursing the darkness for making the solutions come with a heavy price.

So as they were spending some time exploring a world filled dandelions, Aqua approached the child with a serious face. “I’ve been thinking really hard about something,” she said softly.

“You think about a lot of things,” the child chided as they plucked a dandelion from the ground and blew on it to watch multiple florets fly off into the distance.

Aqua smiled. “Yes, well, someone has to for the both of us. I need you to,” she started reluctantly. “I need you come clean with me, alright?”

“O…kay?” they replied, confused.

Aqua summoned her keyblade and presented it in front of the child, who only looked at it with mesmerized eyes. “Is this the first time you’ve seen a keyblade?”

The child frowned at that question and responded with, “No. I’ve seen you summon it plenty of times before.”

She shook her head. “Before you met me, have you ever seen a keyblade before?”

The child gaped in understanding and started to wrack their rather unreliable set of memories for anything. A slight grimace on their face, gave Aqua a sense of affirmation that the child has _indeed_ seen, or have been acquainted with, a keyblade before. This gave her new hope and instinctively pressed for more information, “When? What’s the name of the keyblade wielder you met? Was it Terra? Ventus? _Xehanort_?”

The child frowned even deeper, their hands flying over to rub at their temple as Aqua continued to barrage them with questions. “Aqua…” they begged. “One at a time… please… I _can’t_ –”

Aqua blinked and stepped back. “Sorry. Got a little too excited. This is a big piece of information, I’m sure you can understand.”

The child merely hummed in understanding as they tried to probe more on the memories that refused to budge. After a few minutes, the child was visibly sweating through their forehead and breathing heavily. They placed their hands on their lap in defeat, and regretfully looked up at Aqua. “I don’t remember, sorry…”

Aqua felt her heart fall at the child’s response and dismissed her weapon. She could’ve sworn letting the child see her blade would spark something in their memory; and it did, for but a brief moment. The child’s stubborn subconscious or the darkness’ persistent hold on their memory continues to be a problem.

“But –” the child started, giving it one last try to be helpful. “I know this isn’t the first time I’ve seen one. When I saw you summon it, it... it felt like home. I may not have trusted you back then, but whenever you had the keyblade, I knew I could trust you, somehow.” They laughed. “I knew it was something I’ve seen before, maybe even had, but I just didn’t think it would do me any good to ask or tell you about it. Especially when you said that not anyone can just wield. You have to be chosen, and I don’t think I deserve to be.”

“You deserve to be chosen just as much as the next child,” Aqua said as she watched the child’s eyes grow heavy in thought. “Your heart is pure and strong, you and I both know that. You wouldn’t be here, alive, in the realm of darkness if your heart was weak enough to fall to it.” She looked away for a moment, and wondered if she should bring it up now of all times. The child did agree to placing all the cards they had on the table, all Aqua had to do was nudge them in the right direction.

“I’ve been thinking about that for quite some time as well,” she started. “When the darkness takes a world, it takes all hearts with it and they are turned into Heartless. I’m sure you know that?” The child nodded; which further strengthens Aqua’s hypothesis.

“Now, normal people wouldn’t even begin to understand what I say, and believe me when I say, a lot don’t understand this when I first explain it. Most of them call me crazy, some think I'm lying, but with you,” she smiled at the child softly. “You already knew about the Heartless. And that’s coming from someone who recently encountered them. You know more about them than I ever did. You know that they come from darkness, that they’re attracted to negativity and the light; and even if you don’t say it, you know what the darkness is capable of doing. You can even influence it…”

The child’s eyes grew in aghast and looked at Aqua, “You know that I can –?”                             

“You have a habit of letting loose when you’re angry,” Aqua smiled understandably. “I don’t blame you though. The darkness can be a bit… influential. I also developed a sense of awareness for it. I can feel what the darkness feels, and if you can influence it to make your emotions known. I can read it.”

“That’s…”

“Yes,” Aqua nodded. “A bad addition to my resume as a wielder of light, being able to read the darkness this way. And you also _know_ about the keyblade. I’d be a fool to not see what’s already in front of me, and I know, that you already know that too.”

The child avoided her gaze as they held on to the wayfinder dangling on their neck. Slowly, and shakenly, the child mustered out the truth. “I’m a keyblade wielder…”

They looked up at Aqua again, tears forming at their eyes, and waveringly asked, “But… why don’t I remember it. Why do I feel it and not –” they hiccupped “– why don’t I – why can’t I summon it anymore – why can’t I –” Aqua enveloped them in a tight hug as their breathing began to grow shallow and the darkness around them began to grow crisper at the child’s obvious panic.

She whispered kind and assuring words at their ear, and promised to figure this out with them, slowly, at the best she can. “I know everything is confusing, maybe even unfair, and that you’re angry. It’s not fair, being chosen by the light never gave us that option to have fairness in our lives. We have to sacrifice more than others do to keep them safe; to keep out friends safe. Whatever happened to you and your friends, I’m certain you did to protect them.”

“I don’t know why your keyblade won’t come to you anymore, or why your memories remains locked and out of your reach,” Aqua reiterated, “but we’ll figure it out. And I know just the way to do it.”

“How?”

“You said it yourself already. I still don't agree with it, but with the way things are going -" 

“ _Aqua_ ,” the child said bluntly. “Just tell me.”

“We need to make your nightmares worse.”

* * *

To say that the child blew up on her when she agreed to take the path less taken was an understatement. They were beyond furious. 

The child pushed her off with a wave of darkness that urged Aqua to keep her distance from the temperamental child. In an instant, Aqua realized that the child had more control over the darkness than they initially let on. Back then it was just a wave of darkness that invaded her feelings, this time, a force of darkness physically pushed her away from them; and as she regained her footing to begin walking back, another wave of darkness kept her legs planted on the ground.

Eyes sparking with malice remained on her, glaring with such ferocity that Aqua didn’t know existed within the child. Aqua knew they were angry. She understood that they were a victim of some form of injustice, but to see that pain and anger directed at her is heartbreaking.

“YOU NEVER WANTED TO HELP ME!” the child shouted accusingly. “ALL YOU EVER WANTED WAS TO USE ME TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE. TO GET BACK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND LEAVE ME!”

Aqua opened her mouth to deny the child’s outburst, but the sudden spike of the darkness around them forced her to keep her mouth shut and instead cautiously attend to her surroundings. This amount of darkness... It's the same one they released back in Daybreak Town when everything was falling apart.

“YOU’RE NO BETTER THAN ANY OF THEM! ALL OF YOU JUST WANT TO USE ME! Well…" They ripped the wayfinder off their neck and threw it on the ground. "I’m done being used.” They crushed it with their feet and Aqua felt her heart cry as she heard the metal crack beneath the force of their feet.

As the child continued to shout nonsensical truth’s at her, Aqua reminded herself that the person speaking to her now isn’t the child she has been traveling with. This wasn't the child that was determined to do anything to get their memories back, even to the point of hurting themselves. This was more their bruised and unforgiving past self, grasping at straws to keep what they’ve hidden, a secret. They were deliberately trying to hurt Aqua and make her give up on her quest to help them recover by destroying something special between her and the child, and once again make them vulnerable to the darkness.

Even though Aqua knew this, it still pained her to see how quickly the child can fall to such thinking. She had to make them see clearly gain. Mustering the strength to come closer to the child and call out to the more agreeable persona of the child, Aqua finally willed her legs to move.

The child immediately stepped back and held out a closed fist. “STAY AWAY! I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE!” they shouted. “YOU MAKE EVERYTHING CONFUSING. I DON’T WANT TO BE CONFUSED. I’M BETTER OFF NOT REMEMBERING!” They were crying now, tears falling off their face endlessly as their emotions reached their peak. “A WEILDER LIKE YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT WE ALL WENT THROUGH!”

In that instant, numerous pure-bred Heartless appeared to surround them; their yellow orbed eyes glowing ever so brightly than before, fueled by the child’s darkness that seemingly merged with the realms own. Aqua summoned her keyblade and rushed to protect the child, but three Invisible Heartless blocked her path with gigantic blades of their own.

“Please,” Aqua pleaded as she parried with the three blades swinging at her, “You have to listen to me. I will never use you. You're my friend. All I wanted was for you to trust me so we can get out of here together. I will never trade your life to escape here. You know that. Don’t let your past cloud what you know to be true!”

“LIAR!” A dark purple glow exploded around the child’s enclosed fist and ethereal blades of darkness cordoned off Aqua’s escape route.

She double jumped off the blades and slashed through an Invisible, before surrounding herself with a barrier as multiple Shadows tried to pounce on her. Aqua sent them all back with a front charge and dispersed the barrier off into different directions. The shadows scattered and the remaining Invisible’s swung their swords towards her. Aqua dodged them and climbed over their blades to strike them down with fire coated blades.

As Aqua cleared off the first wave, she watched as the child raised another pin in the air and saw it glow, before dark orbs appeared around Aqua, surrounding here and rotating inwards to trap her. Aqua immediately jumped up and watched the collision of the orbs send a massive shockwave that sent her flying towards a Fat Body that was quick enough to try and flatten her down the flower bed.

She sent the fat heartless into the air, and its surrounding peers, with an Aero spell and rolled out of the winds piercing blades. She flounders for a brief moment as two Bit Sniper’s successively landed hits from far away. Aqua heals herself quickly before vaulting up on top on a Fat Body and aimed her weapon at multiple targets. Once the Shot-Lock reached its maximum peak, she released a volley of light energy at the locked-on targets as she spun gracefully in the air.

The Heartless’ number greatly diminished and Aqua saw the child fish out what appeared like a reddish-purple pin from their pockets. It glowed again and Aqua felt something warm behind her back and she quickly encased herself in a barrier before a large explosion of dark energy erupted behind her. Aqua rolled on her back before she caught herself; eyes quickly searching for the child, who had their hand inside their pockets to get another pin.

Since when did they have those?

As the child raised another enclosed fist up in the air, Aqua mentally argued with herself to not do what her instincts are telling her to. But she steeled her resolved and shakenly raised her keyblade towards the child, she mumbled a quick apology under her breath as she fired a Blizzaga shot towards the child’s hand that had only started to spark in that odd dark-purplish glow.

The child let out a shrill scream as the ice grazed their wrist and coated their hand in a thin layer of ice. They intricate looking pin dispersed back into darkness as it fell to the ground when the child clutched their semi-frozen hand close to their chest. Their eyes still burned in indignation, much more so now, after Aqua attacked them.

Aqua felt the darkness around them spike to summon more Heartless. She regained her footing and took a defensive stance. The game of patience has always worked with the child, and if she can ride out their emotional turmoil and win the battle of stamina, then perhaps, she can reach out to the child again. “Please stop this! We can talk about it like we always do.”

Unfortunately for Aqua, the child’s patience and mercy ended with her decision to hurt them. “You shouldn’t have done that,” the child hissed. The ground beneath them shook as a large swirl of darkness appeared from behind the child. Aqua gaped as she recognized the creature that stepped out from it's hidden depth.

The child managed to summon a Darkside. 

Aqua stepped back in horror upon realizing the full extent of control the child has with the darkness. To summon a Darkside is no easy feat – even for someone as powerful as Xehanort – Aqua jests.

The Darkside takes a sluggish step forward with its short legs and thin, curled up feet. It raises it long arms up in the air, and strikes down at Aqua, who dodges without effort, but was still sent back flying because of the shock-wave that came with the punch. A dark pool forms around the Darkside’s arm and an army of Shadow heartless scurried out from the ground.

Aqua clicked her tongue, as she remembered how unlike most Heartless, the Darkside had the ability to summon Shadows. She needed to reserve energy in this fight, and to waste way too much energy against foot soldiers is something she should avoid. Ignoring the shadows that clamored and jumped after her, Aqua instead focused on landing as many hits as she can on the Darkside’s arm.

A massive Heartless like this would need time to regain its energy before the next attack, which Aqua didn’t have the patience for, so she engaged the Shadows while keeping in mind to hit the arm before her.

The Darkside roars as it pulled back its arms and scoops up a giant orb or darkness above its thorny head.

Aqua quickly retreats, immediately recognizing the attack that was to come next. She cartwheels away from the miniature orbs that fell off from the larger one, and attempts to perform another Shot-Lock on the Darkside’s immobile form, but was interrupted by yet another explosive mass of darkness behind her.

Aqua screams at the burning sensation it left on her back and spots the child holding up their hand, which glowed a faint purple, and breathing heavily. They were reaching their limit. Aqua strenuously pushed herself off the ground and dodged another dark orb before casting Curaga on herself. She would’ve cast one on the child, but as they are right now, it would only be her downfall. If pushing them to their limit would make them revert to being the cooperative version of themselves, then Aqua would do anything to exhaust their stamina.

She’s proven time and time again to be the winner of this game.

The Darkside roared again to alert Aqua that it was beginning its last known attack. Aqua watched as the giant Heartless leaned back and amassed a large force of darkness in the middle of the heart-shaped hole in its abdominal area, and releases it to form dark missiles targeting any visible target.

Aqua was fully expecting the missiles to trail after her, but was horrified when the missiles instead honed on to the now unconscious form of the child. She rushed over to the child and carried them in her arms before hastily dodging, deflecting, and redirecting the missiles to hit the Darkside’s head.

After multiple barrages of the homing attack, Aqua paused at the side, to watch her massive opponent punch another arm through the ground, and summon multiple Shadows. She needed to end this quickly. She laid the child on the patch of orange colored flowers that looked a lot like cranes and softly said, “I’ll promise to come back for you.”

She cast a long lasting barrier spell around the child and proceeded to defend the child from the Shadows and end the Darkside before it can unleash another homing attack. Aqua learned that learning the patterns of her opponent was easy when she reminds herself that time if of the essence and that she is protecting the life of someone suffering. She resourcefully made use of the Darkside’s own attacks against it to make more damage count and finished their long battle with a Prism Rainbow Shot-Lock.

The Darkside fell to its knees in a deafening cry and vanished into nothingness as the world shook around them. Aqua cursed her fate. To think that the darkness would decide the best time to change worlds would be right now. Aqua was at her limit and she didn’t know if she had enough stamina left to take the child to safety.

Looking back at the child, which now lay unprotected in the bed of flowers, Aqua let out a heavy sigh. She can’t give up now. The child relied on her to keep them safe, regardless if they knew how to fight – rather well if Aqua may add. She’d have complimented the child on their use of magic if only that skill wasn’t directed at her, or the fact that they were using darkness rather than elemental magic. Nonetheless, Aqua reached down for the child and carried them like a groom would their bride.

As the world dissolved around them, the child’s eyes fluttered open, glazed over and clouded. Aqua smiled softly as their eyes met and asked, “Feeling better?”

The child merely blinked up at her slowly, as though unfamiliar with her and instead looked over to the horizon. Their eyes widened at something from afar and reached out. They pushed Aqua away while they grabbed at an invisible entity in front of them.

“ _Eph_ –” they cried “– _mer_ , wait…”

The child passed out soon after and Aqua looked over to where the child was reaching out to and frowned somberly. She really needs to find a way to talk to the child about this without triggering their past self to go all ballistic on her. It was counterproductive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the next chapter would be in a week or two around January but I have grossly underestimated the load I had this semester and it killed me. Anyway, I made some minor revisions to the previous chapter so the beginning of this chapter also changed. Generally it still follows the same flow of the story, just changed when it happens. (I'm sorry I'm an indecisive piece of shit) I also wanted to post this during KH3's Invitational Premiere but we all don't get what we want. 
> 
> I'd love to hear to hear what you all think of this long-awaited chapter (if it was anything like that). Last chapter is next! Stay tuned for some [Player] POV because we're ending this with a bang.
> 
> Sushi Out!


	5. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A step-back from the present, an amnesiac child awakes to a familiar, yet unknown world. They slowly face the truth they've been ignoring for a while, and is forced to ask the questions they've been afraid of answering for so long.

Bright colored eyes slowly fluttered open.

They stared up at a storm filled sky in an unfocused daze; their mind hazy and body aching as a long, ominous, streak of lightning flashed above. The child tried to recall the events prior to finding themselves in this foreign land, but found it useless as their thoughts slowly drifted off to incomprehensible gibberish.

The sky shouldn’t look like that, they thought to themselves

It should be blue, like the ocean. Calming hues to the eyes, peaceful to look at, with white fluffy clouds that challenged the imagination of children. The child smiled softly at hazy memory. l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰͔̩͈b̡̛̳̖̪̠̥̱̞̠͡a̯͈͙e҉̠̱̖l͖̗͙̜̭k͉̙̬͖͇͚̙̻̕ liked doing that.

The child paused. _Who... who liked to do what?_

Their mind cleared, and the hazy fog disabling them to think washed away to form a single question _– Where am I?_

They regained the feeling in their arms, and slowly turned to push themselves upright. One arm supporting their back, and the other used to massage their throbbing head. _What happened to –_ A sharp pain suddenly exploded from their chest, causing them to heave as they fell on their knees. **P** **ain.** _They're in so much pain…_

The child clutched their chest as though something big and sharp plunged its way straight through it. Their eyes grew wide in terror as the feeling lingered, pushing deeper, _harder._ It was close to unbearable. The pain crawled up their limbs, causing the child to cry out in a horrifying, terror-filled moan. They coughed harshly; blood splattering the ground as they caught their breath.

Everything was on fire. They couldn't feel their arms and legs. It was like they had turned as heavy as lead and were as stiff as rock. Their chest throbbed ceaselessly, pushing and pulling at his heart as though someone was torturing him with an invisible blade. Their mind paralyzed them to the point that their own thoughts kept on repeating a single thought - _Die._ _They’re going to die… T_ _hey didn’t want to… They don’t want to…_ **I don’t want to die** _._

They heard the faint ringing of a bell, and the pain mysteriously vanished. It was like the torture wasn't even there in the first place.

The child remained on the floor, heaving, and sweating, partially traumatized and confused by the whole ordeal. They patted their chest, looking for an explanation for the pain, but found nothing.

They were safe.

The child let out a relieved sigh and slowly sat up again. They unconsciously braced for another shot of pain but it fortunately never came.

They wondered what caused it in the first place, but the more they thought about, the more the thought escaped them and was left forgotten. Frowning at what they were so focused on earlier, the child instead looked around and busied themselves with something else.  
  
Around them, numerous purple colored houses, with flora decorating the windows ledges towered about two stories high. Papers were scattered about, its fine print left unreadable. They picked one up out of curiosity and attempted to gloss over it. They felt as though they should be able to read it. They continued to walk along the streets yellow bricked road, a warm feeling of home whispered at the back of their mind. This place made them feel safe.  They didn't question the odd sense of security and kept on exploring.

Everything felt familiar, that much assured them, but something felt off. This place... it was empty. Perhaps even too empty. 

The odd familiarity they had of the town guided them mindlessly through the corners and streets. They had no destination in mind, but at the same time, knew exactly where they needed to be.

The child emerged down a flight of stairs to see themselves staring at a fountain plaza. A dark, foreboding feeling simmered deep down on their chest, and a haze of black cloud erupted from their hand. It went by unnoticed as they clutched their chest and willed the feeling to go away. Unfortunately, the feeling remained in the surface and refused to back down. 

Suddenly, a memory flashed in front of their eyes. A boy with silver hair, wearing an ornate red triangular scarf around his neck sat beside another kid, idly chatting and laughing at something. They child recognized them. The other kid had their face. A face that looked neither too masculine nor feminine. It was easy to be mistaken for both genders, and they didn't care being called either as well. 

The silver haired boy....

They know him... but _who?_

The child blinked and the memory quickly faded out to their subconscious, dragging along the dark feeling in their chest, but not the image of the boy with silver hair. 

The child walked over to the fountain and picked up a snowy white flower on top of a whorl a three green leaves that mysteriously lay on the spot where the mirage appeared. “This is…” A distant sound of bells ringing snapped them out of focus and into another confused hazed. “Wh- what was I doing...?”

The bells continued to chime and the child looked around, curious of its source. They ran up the stairs, and kept on climbing until they reached a boardwalk that overlooked a massive clock tower. Its gears and gigantic metal pendulum were not moving, but the tower continued to ring loudly. The clock was stuck in twelve o’clock and the child released a breath they didn’t know they’ve been holding in.

“Foretellers…” they mumbled softly.

A strong pull urged them to go closer, but something else kept them back and insisted that they remain outside of the tower. _Never go inside_. Whatever was inside… they knew they wouldn’t like it.

The child unconsciously raised a hand to their chest again and shivered that same unwanted feeling filled them. The darkness poured out of their hearts sleeve yet again going by unnoticed. _Why didn’t they want to go to the tower?_  

The child looked back at the tower and was surprised by how closer it appeared. They blinked, and it was a few meters closer. Another flutter of their eyelids, and suddenly the clocktower sounded like it was right beside their ears. Its deafening chimes sent the child to fall back on their behind and press their hands over their ears to drown out the ringing.

Everything started to fade around them. Their sight grew dark as they felt the weight of the clock towers bells crush them under its heavy song. They turned on their belly and attempted to crawl away from the sounds. They didn't want this. They wanted... Dark circles begun to form around their eyes and the child absentmindedly reached out to it, begging for mercy.

_You should’ve died._

The child gasped as a voice entered their ears.

_Why are you alive?_

Strenuously, they looked for a source of the voice, but didn’t find any. Just a bunch of voices with no faces.

_LIAR. **TRAITOR.**_

_He never should have given you a chance._

_l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰͔̩͈b̡̛̳̖̪̠̥̱̞̠͡a̯͈͙e҉̠̱̖l͖̗͙̜̭k͉̙̬͖͇͚̙̻̕ did the l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰ and l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰ you._

  
The child shut their eyes; fighting of the tears that threatened to fall and attempted to drown out the voices.  _They're not real_ , they told themselves.

The indescribable fought back, inadvertently telling them that these thoughts, no matter how terrifying, were in fact the realest thing they have at the moment.

The child cried. Every single dark thought flooded open to swallow every their very being. Every breath, every act they can think off was being swallowed by the darkness. It was suffocating. A dark cloud phased over them, circling around their chest and hovering very closely to their heart. It offered them a bit of comfort, like a cold embrace assuring them of safety and whispered for them surrender. 

To surrender to darkness.

Their breath grew shallow; pained and labored as they kept the last fires of their will alight. 

Something flickered to their left, and the child's eyes grew in panic as a very familiar ball of purple light summoned a dozen or so two legged creatures with clawed hands, jagged antennas, and soulless yellow orbed eyes.

The child pressed themselves near the railings, a loud siren in their head telling them to fight _._

Their eyes mysteriously fell to their right hand, a fractured memory telling them to raise it and summon a weapon. Though suspicious, they followed the call and raised their arm. The dark swirling around their heart traveled towards their hand as they reached for the light that felt warmer than the cold claiming to protect them. 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!” the child's raw agonizing scream echoed in the realm as a burning, almost unbearable searing fever exploded all over their body. Their body felt like it was on fire. Fighting off the warmth that tried to find itself back in their already cold heart. They felt their own heartbeat drum in the back of their ears, joining in the bells that did not cease and clouded their senses to the point of losing themselves in the sounds. 

Everything hurt. Everything was too loud. _They wanted to die._

The dark creature’s attention was immediately on them. They were too paralyzed to move, and could only cry out in torment as creatures ceaselessly tore through their clothes, flesh, and insides.

 _“He…l…p…”_ they breathed out desperately.

Just before they succumbed to the reassuring whispers of the cold darkness that was slowly enveloping them, a creature with gray fur and white socked legs, hobbled over to them. The child blinked.  _cv͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰,_ they called.

_“Don’t move now, it’s okay...”_

Tears swelled up around the child’s eyes. Trembling as they reached out, until the darkness swallowed them whole together into nothingness.

* * *

Time was nonexistent in this world.

The child scurried past the dark, malevolent creatures as that aggressively ripped open a bag of noisemakers on the street. They immediately sought shelter in one of the inns nearby and waited for the Heartless to get tired.

They don’t remember how long it has been since they woke up in this world; or how long it has been since they last died in the hands of those Heartless. But every time they did, they wake up on the same place over and over again, as though waking up from a nightmare. The child knew it isn't however. Everything felt too real. The claws digging into their skin, the teeth ripping through their flesh. It's not something their mind can come up with. 

It happened over and over again. They didn't know how to fight it at first, but they forced themselves to learn. Every death. They took as a learning opportunity. 

The child glanced at their hands that have turned a bright shade of red at the tips, then progressed up their shoulder like charred charcoal. They closed them in a tight fist as that burning feeling to call forth something warm echoed in their mind. They realized very early on that they can summon some kind of weapon to fight off the Heartless. What the weapon was called, they couldn't remember. No matter how hard they tried. But calling it forth also resulted in torture that equaled the pain of dying at the hands of the Heartless, so they avoided it the best they could.

Still, it didn't mean the feeling of wanting to reach out and let that warmth fill the numb coldness that remained in their heart wasn't tempting. 

Subconsciously knowing that the Heartless can be destroyed by a weapon gave them ideas to protect themselves. They used wooden boards and other metal objects to fight them off, and they would retreat for a while, but never too long. Fighting them was useless, they learned that much. The only other solution they can think of… is to understand the enemy.

A dark, invisible, cloak wrapped around them to assure them of their decision. The child sighed. They didn't know when they started turning to that cold darkness for comfort, but it was a lot better than being left alone with their own thoughts. Every death they had, only made them curse their fate even more. They haven't the faintest of how they got trapped in this hell in the first place, and the lack of answers and never-ending cycle of pain made them angry, resentful, and bitter.

Everything felt too unfair. Surely, what they did before this life shouldn't merit such a punishment?

They never did get an answer, but the darkness… The darkness that their mind told them to avoid, never trust, provided them with solace and protection they can never hope for.

It didn't help them find a reason to keep on living. They loathed this place. _T_ _hey loathed everything._ Theydesperately hoped everything just stayed still and dead. They hated being alive and saw death as the best escape, but after a thousand of those, it felt useless. It became difficult to care about anything. They stayed alive, but it was more an obligation than a want.

The darkness would revive them, no matter how they ended to choose their life. Heartless or by taking it on their own, the darkness would always bring them back.

They don’t recall when they started calling the creatures as Heartless, but it just rolled out of their tongue one time and it felt right. The child was convinced that, the Heartless – creatures born from the darkness of people’s heart… sought after them because of the light that lingered in their heart.

The child shifted in their seat, careful not to worsen the state of disrepair their clothes were already in. They were tattered at the edges, and have started to turn black at the seems. The child had no idea what was causing the impossible discoloration, but they supposed dying, and being resurrected repeatedly had consequences.

The darkness kept them alive for some reason, but the child can't figure out why. They supposed it was to keep that small warm light in their heart from burning out, but they can't call it forward. What was the point of keeping them prisoner if the darkness itself won't allow them to connect to it? 

_Playing with a broken doll._

The child frowned. The thought came out of nowhere but found themselves slightly agreeing. A doll. What an appropriate term to call themselves. They didn't feel human anymore. Not after everything. They hardly feel anything anymore. They supposed they did feel something, but it felt fake to them. They wanted to feel real emotions. Not emotions that are awful and feed the darkness. Looking at it that way, the child supposed they were nothing but a doll after all. 

The darkness whispered in their mind again, telling them that they were no such thing.

The child scoffed as though just being told a joke.

While they grew to hate the darkness, they also relied on it far too much. Their guilty pleasure. An unforgivable sin.

Everything around them was just too scary, too unfamiliar, but the darkness wasn’t. It felt like an old senile friend. So the moment they actually felt darkness connect with their thoughts, the child didn’t even hesitate. Conspiring with the sentient matter of darkness is a lot better than becoming one of the mindless creatures that inhabited it.

It was a malicious entity, the child knew that much, but it was also suffering. The darkness… It longed for something that the child unconsciously knew they wanted as well. No words can describe the feeling that blossomed in their chest when they welcomed the darkness, but it was like regaining a piece of them they didn’t know they lost.

The child understood that accepting the darkness was not right, but the power it promised to give them was a much better option than having to endure a cycle of torture. It promised to keep them safe, and it did. They haven’t had a direct encounter with the Heartless in a long time, which meant, they also haven’t died in a long time. They would still see them scattering about, but with the Darkness’ guidance, the child was able to feel where they were, and with enough practice, was able to send them away through thought alone.

It was like the Heartless listened to them.

It was a great feeling knowing that despite losing everything – their identity, their past, their home - the darkness gave them something to define themselves with. It felt wrong but they didn’t care. They didn’t care about anything nowadays.

After acknowledging the power scouring their fingertips, the child felt a little excited and began experimenting. Very cautiously, they attempted to influence the darkness. At first it was just the Heartless, then it became much more. Darkness poured out of their heart and hands like it was their own. The power they had was exhilarating. An emotion they haven't felt in a long time. But the darkness did not like being controlled by a mere child.

In response to being used, the darkness would often feed its thoughts and feelings unto the child. These came without warning, so much so that it was becoming hard to delineate what was their own or what was influenced by the darkness; or vice versa. But much like their growing apathy over their own life, the child cared less of where their thoughts ended and where the darkness began.

As long as it was keeping them alive, that was all that matters.

Time passed by around them in a blur.

At this point, the child has forgotten just about everything that used to keep them grounded in reality. They stopped caring about who they once were, they stopped looking for answers. Instead, they followed the course the darkness was leading them, walking around the town, stacking boxes on top of each other and scavenging for items in various houses.

They had no idea how long it has been since they got trapped here, nor how long has it been since they last died, so much so that the discoloration of their arms and clothes had ceased. They were back to their normal color now, but in their place, was the feeling something heavy inside their pockets.

Weirdly enough, while they can feel their weight and the coldness that encased them, the child can never touch them. An invisible force that was weighing them down. Nevertheless, the child learned best not to think about those as of late. It’s better not to think about anything at all.  
  
The child walked around the cliff overlooking the town, searching around for a very specific white colored flower they grew to like. All flora in this world were withered and dead, except for this one. They can’t recall its name, but it was beautiful. It reminded them so much of l̪͕͎̯̦͙r̕͞v͇̬̘̤͖̤̖͔͘̕͡f̭͢a̧̠̩̩̱͚̰̕͟e҉̮͎͎̦u͏҉̠͔̞̖̟v͙͖̯̜͡y̷͇̰͔̩͈b̡̛̳̖̪̠̥̱̞̠͡a̯͈͙e҉̠̱̖l͖̗͙̜̭k͉̙̬͖͇͚̙̻̕

The child doesn’t remember if they ever liked flowers back in their old life, but they definitely do now. It was so full of life and vigor, and filled them with feelings hope and wonder. They didn't feel such emotions themselves, but the thought of feeling those kept them calm. They’ve been trapped in this darkness for so long, that they’ve actually forgotten what it feels like to feel, or even hear their own voice.

The child bent over to scoop up the white flower they have been looking for and carefully lifted it unto a small pot. From the corner of their eye, a lone figure leapt in the air and landed in the middle of the town, intrigued at the new world that the darkness had conjured up for them.

* * *

“Wait!” cried a girl with blue hair as the child retreated back up the stairs with no clear destination in mind.

There shouldn’t be another human here. _T̢͕̩̖̳̔̐͛̿ͅh̴̩̩̣̘͍ͬ̅ͮͬ͛͘͝e̠͙͓̬̮͚̱͛̇͑̿ͫ͗̚͟ ̧̱̣̪͔͖̣̣̜̏̐́̓̓̕ͅẁ̦̩̯͐̍͊̎̈à̶̟̺̻͉̘̣̦̺̀̐ṟ̷̡̯́ͦ̅̀̔̔͊̚͟ͅ ̞̗̗̼͙̙͇ͪ̒̈̀̓ͦ̊̕s͕̃͋ͦ̉ͥ̏h̸̗͍̩͖̖̱ͮͮ̓͋̅ͩ̒o̢͓̜̲̱̥̮̗͓͌̓̿̍͆̇ų̦̄͆l͕̩̞͓̿̊ͯ̍ͪ͠dͫͬ͏̳̠̯̫̦̺͡nͦͤ̓̋͗ͬ̈̐͏̵̗͙͖̱̠ͅ’̩̭͈̪̩̭̙̼̲͊͑̿̂ͣ͊̕͢t̳̗ͬ͗ ̵̰ͧ̃ͤ̔̈́̍̚̚͞h̩̝̆̿̉̚a̻̤͍̜̰̲̝̱͂̋̂ͨ̂́̍ͫv̧̜̻̤͓͍͔̇͊͝e̞̳͓͙̱͖ͬͤ͑̑̅̓͘ ̸̲͇͓͙̠̌̓̇ͯͯ͢k̢͎̱̝͙̑̎̀͆ͮ͜͠e̸̢ͨ̾͗p̠̠͍̗̼̝̙̈̒͌ͥ̓̽̿͐ͅt͎͋̈ͪͨ̀̈͝ ͗̎̽̔͏̗̲̹͟͠a̻̲̘͚̓ͥ̓͋͋ͯ͂͐ņ̓ͯ͑͑̽ͦ҉̫͎̗͉y̥̟͔͉͈ͭ̃̆ͬ͂̂́ͪ͂͜͝o̡̧͙̜͖̹̖̭̦̯͎ͭ̾̌͑̀ͪ͌n̴͇̳͈̂̔̈̓ͫ̉ͧe̔̂̎̂͘҉̞ ̸̺͉̞͕̬̳ͭ̆ͤ͡a̡̼̍̏̓ͫͫͧ̐͟͠ͅl̶͇̰̮̦̺̑ͬi̵̪̺̟̦̎͌ͭv̨̩̰̪̜̱ͨ͆̍̔ë̠̟̻̟͍̭̉ͩ͛̕͘,̲̦̩̗͕ͥ̈́̐̉̎ͧ͡ ̫͈̙̻ͩͥ̾_

  
The darkness felt the turmoil filling up their thoughts, and brushed against them; reassuring. The child didn’t hesitate to call upon it, and using their raw, ceaseless, panicked thoughts the darkness summoned Heartless with every step they took. The blue haired girl back pedaled and summoned a weapon to her side.

The child heard that familiar chime of bells again, almost forgetting that they existed. They looked back, despite the darkness telling them not to and gasped. Still hidden from their chaser’s sight, the child focused their gaze on the key-shaped weapon the girl was holding.

She raised the weapon into the air, and a burst of magic shot out from it and decimated half of the Heartless blocking her path.

An uncomfortable feeling creeped at the back their spine. A lingering feeling of a long forgotten memory, and a pull from the light they've long forgotten existed within them, screamed at them to reach out. They have seen one of those weapons before… 

Unconsciously, the child looked at their hands again and wondered. Haven’t they tried summoning a weapon before too? Frowning at that dangerous urge, they pushed the thought down and did as the darkness told them too. They started to walk away from the stranger, but something kept them from getting too far. The forgotten warmth in their heart was practically begging for them to notice it.

For the first time in a long while, the child felt a wet stream of tears fall from their face.

They were so lost... They wanted to go home... 

Throwing away the fear the darkness kept on drilling in their mind, the child reached out, finally connecting with the light they've ignored, and felt it fill the darkness in their heart. Something tickled the edge of their fingertips. It was warm, and bright. Unlike the darkness. Their finger twitched, a glittering spark, then all too familiar pain washed over them.

They fell forward, heaving as every muscle in their body cramped and left a burning, creeping sensation up towards their throat. They let out a strained call for help, but no rescue came. The warmth was replaced by the cold they’ve gotten so used to embracing now, and whimpered – crying over another futile attempt to regain themselves.

  
_T͈̞̭͓̰̞̯͎͚̿̈́̋͌ͤ͜h̵͕̪͗͆̄́̓͋ḙ̡̳̺̮̙͈͇͐ͭ̿͂̇ͭ͝ẙ̨̡̡̭̱̪̤͎̣͙̊̒̇ͭ̾͋̊̈́ ̛̱̭̬̣̻̠͈ͣͪ͞l̸̾ͪ̓͊ͧ́҉̱̮̤͓̹̪̭ǒ̓̉ͨ͐̌҉̲̻̯̪̹̦̼ṡ̩̹̱̳͇̩̣͉͆͐̄͑̉ͫ͛͑t͚̭̝̯͈̺̪̪̑̄̍ͧ͆͢ ͕̹̦̯͇̘̽̓͆ͭͣͮ͗͗̓t̨̲̤͓͖͐ͮ̀͊̌ḩ̩̜͚̺̬̯̤̓ͪ̀͌̏͒̄͘e̗̜ͯͭ̓̽͂́ͩ͟͢͡ ̥ͪ̋͑̋͊ͯ͆r̯͓̠̣̼̫͌i̛͙̭͖͓̮̤ͣͪ̓͐́ͅg̩͉͍̱͇̩̙ͮ̐͋͌ͤͣh͔̟͓̟̜̫͖ͤͭͤ̌̂̓̃ͅͅt̵̴͖̘̙̘̼̫͍̄ͦ ̷̜̖̆̂̎̿t̼̺̐͌̍͑̾̈͢o̤͍̪̭̺̓ͭ̈́̐̈̿̓͗͗͟ ̛̣̞͔͈̗͇͚̭ͤ̃̂̕ș̷̡̪̥͇̞̼̖̻̖ͮ̀͠u̩̞̠̘̗̼̗ͣ̂͑m̙̠͕̟̝̜̜̥̮̓̾̓̅̏̎m̝͚̻̥̓͗ǫ̜͈͚̻̘̯̒̉͋͝n̴͉̹͐͌ͪ́̄ͩ́̚ ̣̫̈̓̍ͦ̈́̂̔̔͢aͮͧ̒ͧ̐̚͏̬͇͕̼̟̲̞̻͟ ͙̲̰̘̦͚̏́̀͛͒ͅḳ̡͎̐̄̊ͨͯȇ̫̫̹ͭ̑̔ͣ̀ͣ̏̑y̵̖͙̩͖̯̮̏̂͌̈̾b̸̵̨̝̰͕̟̳̿ͤ̈̾̋̅͗̽ļ͚͎̱̰̥̱̻͚̿ͯ̾̓̎̈́̃̓ā̓͝͝҉̘͚͕͕͚ͅd̴̗̯̣͈͖̜̺̠͚̔ͯḙ̢͂ͩ̑ͅ ̷̦̼̜̰͍̓̈́ͫ͝m̧̫̯̿̇ͮ̑ͨ̋ͥ͒͜ḯͯ͑͏̞̥͍̦̰͝l̵̨̗͛̎ͧ̃ͅl̸̫̠̫͎͖̻̱̈̉̿͂̊ĕ̶̱̪̤̹ͤ̚n̰̘͋̋̽ͤͮ̔̃͒̓n̔̔ͨ̏̐̿́͛̑͏̹̞͚̺i̩̦͔̰ͤ͗ͪ̑ư̹̥̞͉͂́ͥͪͩ̎ͦͮm͚̭̖̱͉̠͎̪̈̋̂̍ͅs̶͖͈̱̥͙̣̝̀ͫ́̒͌̽ ̯̳͓͌ͬ̍ͪ͐ăͪ҉͚̮͟g͎͔̻͓ͭ̐̓ͮ̈́͛̚o̡̩͇̽̒̊̊̐ͣͯ̆͟͞_

  
The child doesn’t recall falling asleep amidst the fever that erupted from attempting to summon a weapon to their hand. They dismissed the thought and looked around the town for any sign of the blue haired girl, or Heartless. They thought about searching for the girl and asking them about their weapon, but the darkness’ will overrode their thoughts and insisted that they keep out of her way.

 

_The light only hurts us. They use us for their own gain._

The child frowned in agreement. They didn’t know why, but they agreed wholeheartedly.

Despite going out of their way to avoid the only other living being trapped in this darkness, the child happened to meet her again in the Fountain Square without warning. The darkness yelled and the child attempted to run, instinctively calling unto the darkness, but the girl laid out her best foot forward and begged.

They listened – for some reason – despite the darkness banging on their mind to destroy her. The child didn’t know why either, but upon recalling the weapon she had on her hand; something about her made them feel lighter.

Her name was Aqua.

She claimed to be a warrior of light and that it was her duty to protect people like them, children, from the Heartless. She seemed surprised when they cut her off with the name they’ve been using for the creatures since the beginning, but paid no mind to it and politely refused her help.

The darkness seemed pleased with this decision.

 _They didn’t need her protection._ They’ve gone through death and back again, surviving and outsmarting the Heartless on their own time and time again. They’ve put so much patience and effort in learning the darkness that the child was fairly sure they’d rather trust their life on it, rather than a girl with a _ḳ̡͎̐̄̊ͨͯȇ̫̫̹ͭ̑̔ͣ̀ͣ̏̑y̵̖͙̩͖̯̮̏̂͌̈̾b̸̵̨̝̰͕̟̳̿ͤ̈̾̋̅͗̽ļ͚͎̱̰̥̱̻͚̿ͯ̾̓̎̈́̃̓ā̓͝͝҉̘͚͕͕͚ͅd̴̗̯̣͈͖̜̺̠͚̔ͯḙ̢͂ͩ̑ͅ_.

Despite making their intentions clear, Aqua persisted on following them around. The child thought of letting her get tired of following their mundane routine, but soon grew tired and irritated with being shadowed. To think years of isolation would make them more aversive to company rather than yearn for it.

They’ve lost her a couple of times through quick parkour’s over rooftops and window sills; but for some reason, she’s able to find them twice as fast. The only time they’ve actually lost her was when Aqua went missing for about a day or two, and they happened to find each other in the fountain, _again._  It wasn’t like they wanted to be in the Fountain Square, the child just felt strangely attached to the place and liked being there. It was the only place aside from the cliff where the flowers bloomed, wherein they feel most at peace in.

The last time they attempted to lose her, Aqua was quick to follow after them with some gymnastics of her own. She even tried to humor them and started asking. They didn’t answer her, but the child mulled over the question that didn't ever cross their mind. It just felt like something they have been able to do since the beginning.

_Where did they learn to jump over walls like that?_

Soon after that, Aqua always tried to spark conversation. They don’t want to respond to her, but their mouth decided to move on their own. Surprising the child themselves, as information they didn’t even know came out of their mouth in strings of words that made sense. Like the clocktower’s on and off existence in the realm, or the fact that the town looked more mesmerizing during a sunrise. The worst realization that came was that they don’t remember their own name.

“Oh come on,” she skeptically said. “Everyone has a name. Surely you have one of your own.”

They insisted, over and over again that they don’t remember it. They never thought about their name since they first woke up here. It didn’t seem important at that time, it still didn’t at the moment. _They were content with not knowing anything_ , or at least, that was what the darkness told them.

A strange feeling at the pit of their stomach, wanted to at least know what they were called before. When Aqua kept insisting, they grew irritated at her, then frustrated at themselves because they can’t remember anything. Then before all of the pent up can burst out, and call out to the darkness, the child just... felt _lonely._ They haven’t felt that in a long time.

“I don’t know because… I can’t remember it.”

For the first time since they’ve met her, Aqua looked at them with eyes of pity. The child didn’t know whether to be offended or thankful, but hearing them come from another person, made them feel a little happy. “Having no memory of who I was isn’t so bad. I don’t get to feel sad about whatever happened here – or anything at all…”

“But don’t you live here?” Aqua pressed. “Don't you remember your friends? Family? Don’t you... miss them?"

They stepped back in alarm at the string of questions and avoided her eyes. Suddenly the dark abyss felt more alluring than the questions that now bothered them. Did they have friends… _before all of this? What was their life like, in this town? Did they have a family? Were they….?_

The air around them grew heavy as feelings of unfounded survivor’s guilt plagued the child’s mind. _They shouldn’t have survived… Everyone only wanted to move on. The leaders only wanted what was best for everyone, for them. The child saw it as betrayal, when in reality, it was them that betrayed their trust._

The child frowned, as the darkness mimicked their feelings of anger.

 _They didn’t have the right to choose that for everyone,_  a voice similar to their own argued. _They erased it all and made everyone forget. They made us_ _forget. They hurt you. Chose him over you. They were never your friends to begin with, why should you feel guilty about what happened?_

**_“We’ll go together”_ **

Their breath hitched as the words echoed in their mind. An image of that boy with silver hair reaching out to them flashed in their mind and the tears began to flow freely. The memory played like it just happened yesterday. The boy wiped out the tears on their face, and they leaned to their touch.  _They missed him._

Suddenly, the feeling of longing morphed into a dark pit in their stomach which caused the to seethe in anger.

The boy’s image disappeared and they stared wide eyed at Aqua, who was looking at them with those same pitiful eyes. Growling lightly, the child slapped Aqua’s hands away and shouted, with more raw emotion than they know they are capable of.

The darkness stirred, content. It wanted this.

Aqua backed away, explaining her side, but the child denied and refused to believe any of it.

They didn’t know where the anger was coming from, but they were screaming. Aqua looked dumbfounded. The child denied crying over something superficial, but upon feeling the wetness of their cheek, the anger was replaced with fear -  _What is happening to me?_

They started shaking, confused, scared, and terrified all at the same time. They tried to recall why they were feeling these emotions. They shouldn't be feeling any emotions. The memories which caused them to feel began to fade. They reached out, grasping at straws, not wanting to forget anything, not wanting to forget the emotions – “Ngh!”

Unbearable, indescribable agonizing pain shot through their head. The more they tried to keep hold of it, the more the pain doubled. They rolled over, screaming. They pushed Aqua away, and the darkness cloaked around them, protecting, calming them. Suppressing the memories that were threatening to tear them apart, but also feeding on the feelings of _**anger,**_ the need for _revenge, to claim what was stolen from them to get everything they lost back._

_It wasn’t **my fault.** It was theirs. They tricked me._

_I let them trick me._

_I killed everyone._

_It’s my fault._

**_“I’m sorry….”_ **

Aqua’s pleading voice brought them back to their senses, and the child looked around horrified at the amount of Heartless they have summoned unconsciously and started mumbling about what they did. Aqua reassured them, and instead asked to help them get to safety.

The child didn’t need to be told twice. It was their fault they are in this situation.

Aqua summoned her weapon, and the child’s attention lingered on the blade. They slowly reached out to touch it, that strange call of familiarity urging them to claim it, before they caught themselves. The darkness warned them of another world of hurt. They shook their head and ran at Aqua’s command.

They ran without a single destination in mind, and grabbed a pot by the fountain. They left it in front of a house they took shelter in, that oddly felt like relaxing upon entering its walls. They saw a table at the end, and a faint visual of a green diary but a haze in their mind forced them to ignore it. They crawled under the staircase and whimpered at the throbbing pain that shot up from their arm.

They almost died again.

The Heartless got them. The child shuddered at the thought of reliving death over again and silently wept at everything that they’ve been ignoring for so long.

_**“Who am I?”** _

* * *

_They were standing in the middle of a room filled with huge gears. The air was heavy around them, and the child felt as though the three people standing opposite them were shocked. Disbelief and hurt written all over their face._  
_._  
_A boy with silver hair stood in front of two other, his brows furrowed deep in anger. He couldn’t believe what was in front of them and was saying something inaudible. Their mouth was moving, but no voice came out._

 _The child can’t make it out._ What was he saying?

_The child stepped forward, pointing an accusing finger towards a boy with blonde hair. He was wearing a mismatched set of black and white clothes, and shook his head in denial. Whatever they were accusing him off was dismissed as a lie, but the child didn’t believe them._

_The child summoned a weapon in their hand and it felt just right, neither too heavy nor light. Like a missing piece of their heart that was finally restored to its rightful place. They did not want to let it go. Its purple handle fit nicely in their petite gloved hand, and the way gold and black metal spiraled around the blade made them feel alive. The golden star at the tip glowed in accordance to their will, and they tapped the hilt at the ground menacingly._

_A girl with long black hair gasped and called out to them. Again, no voice. But the child felt their mouth open to respond. They couldn’t hear what it was they said exactly. All of them looked shocked at their answer, and the child raised their weapon to threaten the silver haired boy._

  
_The boy took a small step forward to bargain, begging, and pleading for them to understand their choices, their decision, but the child didn’t listen._

 _They betrayed them, they betrayed everyone. They betrayed_ me.

_Their blades clashed, and the silver haired boy parried. Dark energy began to envelope the child's weapon and the silver haired boy's eyes widened in horror. He pushed them back and cried out. The child stepped back, keeping an offensive stance as a boy with pink colored hair laughed. He stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on them. They said something again, something indecipherable, and then everyone's blade was raised against each other._

_Amidst their battle with the silver haired boy, a sudden immobilizing pain shot through their chest. Their weapon vanished, and the child fell to their knees. T_ _heir eyes grew wide as they looked down in terror to see a bloodied star blade pierce through their chest. The blade was abruptly pulled from their chest, and the child fell flat on their back. The silver haired boy dismissed his weapon and immediately knelt to their side to cushion their fall._

_Tears lined his eyes._ _He was saying something, calling out desperately for a name that sounded familiar._ What was he saying?

 

_The black haired girl hiccuped and covered her mouth with her hands, blade also falling to her side. She shook in horror and cried out loud as she witnessed her friend die in front of their very eyes. The blonde haired boy glowered, anger immediately directed at the responsible party and ran forward. His blade clashing with a black, thorn shaped blade._

 

_“Ephemer… I –”_

 

_"Plņ̷̘̞̥̭̘̭͊ͬ̉͌͌̑ͦv̨̠̳̾̒̓͐͑ͨ̚l̆̿̋̂ͬ̀̀̋҉͍̲̜̖͙͙a̶̢͈̰̮͓̻̝̝ͥ̅ͦͮ̌ͥ͌i͎͎̦͖ͩ͜n̴̥̳͔̞̙̹̺̳͔̄̎̆͛̓”, don't go..."_

 

_As their consciousness slowly waned and dark circles started to border the edge of their vision. Ephemer flew to the other end of the room as he blocked a powerful magic attack from a boy wearing a fedora. His eyes were hidden by his hair and hat, but the child glared up at him even in their death._

_“You knew this was necessary P ņ̷̘̞̥̭̘̭͊ͬ̉͌͌̑ͦv̨̠̳̾̒̓͐͑ͨ̚l̆̿̋̂ͬ̀̀̋҉͍̲̜̖͙͙a̶̢͈̰̮͓̻̝̝ͥ̅ͦͮ̌ͥ͌i͎͎̦͖ͩ͜n̴̥̳͔̞̙̹̺̳͔̄̎̆͛̓”," the boy explained as though it was the plan all along. "I promised you'd see your friends again didn't I?"_

_The dying child opened their mouth to ask why, but only blood came out in their violent coughing fit._

_The girl ran for the fedora wearing boy and forced him back. She attempted to check on the dying child, but fedora boy pushed back against her. She cursed out loud, and the child apologized ceaselessly in their mind._

_Tears mixed with blood as they watched their friends, repeat the mistakes of the Foretellers. It was all their fault._

_Ephemer dropped right next the them, struggling to fight back, and the last thought that plagued the child’s heart kept them from being lost forever._

**_They're going to pay for what they did._**

* * *

A warm green light encased their body, and filled them with new energy they didn’t know they’ve exhausted. The dream lingered at the back of their head, familiar because of its recurring nature, but more memorable now than ever before. 

 _Ephemer said their name._ But everything hurt too much for them to recall it. The name faded from memory, but the dream oddly remained.

“Kid?”

The child moaned lowly in response to the voice that called. They sat up, careful not to exhaust themselves too much and opened their eyes to see Aqua’s own glisten in worry. She looked battle worn. Blue strands of hair sticking out in more places than one, her clothes torn in some places, and her naturally pale skin, looking more bruised than usual. Despite looking ragged and tired, her eyes continued to shine in concern for them.

The child studied her, feeling oddly guilty, and decided to ask. They were scared to know what the darkness made them do this time, but they needed to know. They opened their mouth to apologize, but Aqua beat them to it and hugged them tightly as though not wanting to let them go.

The child blinked. “Aqua?”

“Don’t scare me like that ever again.”

“I –” the child started. “I’m sorry?”

They don’t remember what happened. The dream, no, the memory felt too recent. Like this was the dream, and that was reality. A reality where they… _died._  Their hands unconsciously balled into a fist behind Aqua and they buried their face deeper unto her shoulder blades. It was a scary memory, too traumatizing to even keep in mind. No wonder they would try to forget it the moment they woke up in a daze.

The child can’t fathom how Aqua can stomach watching them suffer this every night. They wondered if they should tell her…

“You shouldn’t be,” Aqua said, not moving an inch to let the child savor in the comfort she’s giving them. “I should’ve understood your situation more. The darkness is keeping your memories captive, and if we found the right way to unlock that, I should’ve expected the darkness to fight back. It just didn’t occur to me that I’d be fighting you.”

“I – Aqua – I don’t understand why you’re apologizing.”

Aqua pulled back from the hug and looked at them, confounded. Her eyes searching for any sign of lies in the child’s own and sighed. “You don’t remember?”

“I don’t…” the child said truthfully. Aqua guided their attention around the field and the child noted how there were scorched patches on the floor and some flora losing color due to exposure to darkness.

“Did I – Did I do that?”

Aqua closed her eyes, and nodded. “Unfortunately. After I suggested we make your nightmares worse, you shut me out. You became a completely different person. You used… the darkness like I’ve never seen you before. You were using these round things to create and use magic with the darkness.”

The child blinked, somehow knowing what Aqua was referring too. They prodded the weight on their pockets and searched. To their surprise, the child was able to feel the ghost weight they've been feeling for so long now. They pulled out a blank faced intricately designed dark-purple medal that looped around a silver colored heart at its top left.

“What is that?” Aqua frowned curiously.

The child traced the edges and a memory flashed on what it was and how it’s used. “A reverse medal. We use it to cast magic…”

Aqua gasped, surprised about the quick ability to remember what they were and placed her hands on either sides of the child. “You – you remember?”

The child frowned, attempting to recall more, but was unable to. It was odd how no pain came along with it. “Barely, but these medals… it allowed us to use the darkness without tainting our hearts. We found out later that it wasn’t doing any of that at all. It was opening our hearts to the dark, and all of us were unaware of it.”

The child tightened their hold on the medal until it disappeared in a fluff of black smoke. “I used it far too much because it was strong. Stronger than the regular medals. I opened my heart to the darkness and allowed it to consume me and my thoughts.”

They looked up at Aqua and saw the questions forming in her mind. They can’t tell them about the dreams yet. Not until they figure out what really happened to them; and their friends before that specific moment. The least they can do is offer her an explanation as to why they were trapped in the Realm of Darkness in the first place.

"I think I died, Aqua."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a week off of Internship and now have the time to finish this. Wow, it's been so long since I last updated (May? Seriously? Wow?). Thank you for your patience and waiting for the last chapter to come out! I wanted to put this out during major Kingdom Heart announcements and I so totally missed the opportunity to post it when Aqua-nort was revealed.
> 
> Which is probably a good thing because I managed to include some elements of Keybladers being corrupted in the realm of darkness. I am convinced Aqua isn't a vessel but slowly turning into a Darkling, but the white hair is most likely a sign that a wielder has gained control over the darkness instead of being taken over by it. Also sorry for all the Blaine and Lauriam fans here that I made them the bad guys, but its a head canon I've had since the beginning.
> 
> I don't know when the prequel-sequel will be posted, but it will focus on the aftermath of the Keyblade war and how Player ended up here. The ending is pretty much spoiled but yeah haha. I can't think of a good title, so maybe you guys can help. I'm choosing between Daybreak Wonders or Dreaming of Tomorrow.
> 
> So, till then! See you everyone~ KINGDOM HEARTS THREE IN LESS THEN 3 MONTHS, CAN YOU ALL BELIEVE IT????


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